Narcotics Anonymous Message Board

BigV · BigV

It took a lot to get here and it takes a lot to stay. Is it worth it you might ask ? DAMN RIGHT IT IS my life is so much better now then then . It aint easy, well hell no its not, it goes against a lot of what's inside of me ( self destructive ) but what was and is still there was killing me today I am living and growing...

BigV · BigV

Which is why I keep reading the " Just for Today" thoughts they help me to see where I am.April 03, 2009For you alonePage 97 "The idea of a spiritual awakening takes many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the fellowship." Basic Text p. 49 Though we all...

drugfree · drugfree

hey everyone, Today i feel like a newcomer. It's been a while since i've had the desire to use drugs due to working the tweleve steps. I felt stable and ready for the next task to be done. I quit smoking, today is day 5 and wow who would of thought it is like stopping drugs except so many things are trigger...

alyqat4 · alyqat4

So I haven't posted in a long while.... No reason just haven't. Still working the program, keeping my service commitments, blahbitty. I keep wanting to post but I think i'm embarrassed cuz I haven't posted! what?! My whole deal with this forum brings me back to my first 6 months of recovery when I would...

Maya · Maya

Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been married for about 3 months now. I knew my husband had a drug problem in the past and when we hooked up he quit. He has relapsed twice, for one day each, since we met. The most recent was last night. He says that he can kick the habit totatlly, but something triggers i...

Raman · Raman

I wanted to go to the Liverpool convetion over the wekend but finally talked myself out of it, Im going to try and list the day and my thoughts on that day about actually getting there !! Thursday nite,,"too early to get there", "the conventions starts only tomorow", "i...

MissKatie307 · MissKatie307

Man I hate having the kind of relationship with my kids dad. He seems very careless about everyone aroung him as for me I'm grateful for the people who walk in my life. I have two kids with this guy and he was my first love and i still cant shake my feelings toward him I just want him to love me back and be the fa...

nicole_mac · nicole_mac

Hey everyone, I've been clean for about 68 days now, the first 30 days I was on top of the world, I was so proud of myself for completeing a 2 week detox program, and attending NA meetings, and making some new "clean" friends. But lately, I've been feeling a little down. I'm missing some of my ol...

LeeU · LeeU

3/27/09: Good for me! I havent given it a thought in almost a week. I am disappointed, tho, that I cant pick up my medallion this weekend, LOL. (My homegroup is Sat AM and sobriety date falls on Monday the 6th.) Oh well, perfect lesson in keeping it in today! I was going through some old notes and such on a...

wantneeda · wantneeda

this message was too long for your white board...ha right on!!! i consider cigarettes a mind / mood altering substance.. um for me it was 9 months since i had a smoke on march 16 th. and as for fat its taken me till now to even start thinking about taking a step one on food, i think it will be the hardest one cau...

kitizzy · kitizzy

My name is Kathleen, and I am an addict. Today I have reached a milestone and that is being drug free for six months. I have remained clean for the past six months, and am in a whole new place in my life now. I am very successful at school. I made the Dean's List last semester, and I am going to receive an academ...

Manon · Manon

sometimes I wonder Current mood: confused Category: Life some ppl would say I have it good some would say damn how does she do it I say does it ever stop when do the good things start to happen in my life why am I still alone is it by choice.... I wonder... I keep ppl at distance for a reason no real relationsh...

ARNPinprogress · ARNPinprogress

Hi. I am new to the message board. I have been a RN for 13 years. Last year, after going through a difficult divorce & financial struggles, I became addicted to narcotics during a long battle with undiagnosed severe clinical depression. I began diverting drugs from the hospital and was caught b...

Wildcat · Wildcat

My son is trying to stay clean. He is recently out of a short detox/rehab facility and has returned to his fiance' and his child who is about a year old. He is now back to work and faced with the demands of returning to the job and responsibilities he has. He is fearful as I hear it in his voice when I speak t...

AnthonyG · AnthonyG

1 ) Everything in life is a trigger. This starts when I wake up. My first though is getting a smoke. After I eat, When I get in the car , If I perform any task whatsoever , Before I go anywhere, After I get home from anywhere ect ect ect. This is scary stuff. I am powerless over my life . Things have to be done but I...

xan · xan

WHERE HAVE I BEEN? WHERE AM I GOING? BY LEA MC CABE Where have I been? I been hiding. Living in hell, the world spinning past me. No one to tell. Locked away. A cavern in my mind, Tears from my heart, Hope I could not find. Where have I been? In a deep, dark sea, Winking my emotion, drowning to rock bottom, Thi...

ANNY · ANNY

I have not shared for about a month. I know that if I do not share and give it away I will not stay sober. I have 10 months...of not picking up. I feel that I have not been sober for 10 months, in many ways I was still very toxic and still am. I am learning through listening to others and accepting suggestio...

elizabeth · elizabeth

So, I've been in between sponsors for the last few months...a couple of weeks ago (38 days to be exact) I decided that it wasn't working for me being sponsorless, and began my hunt. Though I'm one of those 'females with trust issues' I know that trying to get through all this without help just aint gonna...

cleanNOTsober · cleanNOTsober

... and remind myself that it is going to be OK. There are times when the past comes roaring up and bites me on the rear-end so fraking hard that I am amazed that I can sit down. I've got an un-treatable heart condition called "premature ventricular contraction" where the heart kinda forgets...

Manon · Manon

doing better still a bit overwhelmed with life on it's own terms going thru major med changes that makes things a little harder to handle but I am doing it going thru a 4 month course of 16 sessions on borderline personality disorder seems to be interesting I see my shrink again today I am sick with Bronch...

defeatedgirl123 · defeatedgirl123

WOOHOO!!!! i made it a month. with a little help of treatment. but thats alright. i hope that everyone is doing good. dont forget. live day by day. minute by minute second by second and you can do it! look at me. im 17 i didnt really want to join NA but here i am clean and sober. feeling farking awesome. so if i...

Wildcat · Wildcat

My son just got out of a three day re-hab where he was detoxed. This time he says he is determined to beat it one day at a time. He has been abusing prescription meds for quite a while, and has a history of other drug use from marijuana to xanax etc. His mom and I have known about his problem and have always b...

LoriD · LoriD

I am not a recovering addict, but someone I love very much is. God finally "placed him gently" in jail where he is getting counseling, drug classes and reading a lot. He is very willing and wants to truly be done with that part of his life. He's very open about all that he's gone through but how d...

elizabeth · elizabeth

So, I had my coffee, let the dog out, posted here, got dressed for work, and thought "today is a good day!" And then Life showed up.... My truck has been at the mechanic's for the last 4 days having the clutch replaced...still not done, but that's ok. So, my fiance has been shuttling me back an...

Nina · Nina

It's me again. I posted a topic this past tuesaday.... I hadn't had a pill at all that day... untill... about 7pm. Failed the very first day. I wanted to quit for good, I told myself that I should cut back, not do it cold turkey... some excuse huh? So, I'm here again. I haven't had a pill this morning (I do...

emily · emily

Last week my friend's wife passed from breast cancer. She had two young children, she was so truly beautiful. She never asked for breast cancer and fought to the death. It made me think of all the stupid risks I took with my own health, how pathetic it would be to get a disease that I caused myself when othe...

drugfree · drugfree

hey everyone, i just felt like sharing my experiance today. So the car that i'm borrowing from my parents got hit today, but the grace of god there isn't much damage. I was really upset... I turned into a crying mess but i'm very gratitful i'm in recovery today. A. the person in my car didn't run away, b...

Raman · Raman

O by God.. ive been going crazy on chocolates. the tatse of em, the varieties you get here in England and my own sweet ttoth have conspired to give me a chocolate craving. I need to stop this excess as I have no gall bladder to cope with the extra insulin chocolates bring on,,,,sure fire way of getting diab...

LeeU · LeeU

LeeU here-grab a cup and have a seat...this may take a while!! And bear with...probably every sentence will begin with "I". 3/1/09 I am riddled with projection that is mixed with trepidation and a mysterious anticipation. Don't like it...feels yukky. It's all over my pending....

sarahk · sarahk

Hey everyone, Ive been in the program for almost a year, i went through a long detox and treatment, and never felt better. I'm so incredibly grateful for this program and the brothers and sistas that helped me so much through my hardest times. (I still have them!!) I remember the first month I was hit...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	YOu know what (Preview) It took a lot to get here and it takes a lot to stay. Is it worth it you might ask ? DAMN RIGHT IT IS my life is so much better now then then . It aint easy, well hell no its not, it goes against a lot of what's inside of me ( self destructive ) but what was and is still there was killing me today I am living and growing...	BigV	11	595	Apr 3, 2009 by LeeU
	Sometimes I question my 12th step but today I got my answer (Preview) Which is why I keep reading the " Just for Today" thoughts they help me to see where I am.April 03, 2009For you alonePage 97 "The idea of a spiritual awakening takes many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the fellowship." Basic Text p. 49 Though we all...	BigV	2	460	Apr 3, 2009 by LeeU
	taken the next step.... (Preview) hey everyone, Today i feel like a newcomer. It's been a while since i've had the desire to use drugs due to working the tweleve steps. I felt stable and ready for the next task to be done. I quit smoking, today is day 5 and wow who would of thought it is like stopping drugs except so many things are trigger...	drugfree	5	406	Apr 3, 2009 by alyqat4
	self-obsession much? (Preview) So I haven't posted in a long while.... No reason just haven't. Still working the program, keeping my service commitments, blahbitty. I keep wanting to post but I think i'm embarrassed cuz I haven't posted! what?! My whole deal with this forum brings me back to my first 6 months of recovery when I would...	alyqat4	5	572	Apr 2, 2009 by alyqat4
	help, my husband is an addict, any advice? (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been married for about 3 months now. I knew my husband had a drug problem in the past and when we hooked up he quit. He has relapsed twice, for one day each, since we met. The most recent was last night. He says that he can kick the habit totatlly, but something triggers i...	Maya	7	413	Apr 1, 2009 by Maya
	I cannot understand my confusion,,, (Preview) I wanted to go to the Liverpool convetion over the wekend but finally talked myself out of it, Im going to try and list the day and my thoughts on that day about actually getting there !! Thursday nite,,"too early to get there", "the conventions starts only tomorow", "i...	Raman	5	505	Apr 1, 2009 by Raman
	RELATIONSHIPZ CAN BE INSANITY (Preview) Man I hate having the kind of relationship with my kids dad. He seems very careless about everyone aroung him as for me I'm grateful for the people who walk in my life. I have two kids with this guy and he was my first love and i still cant shake my feelings toward him I just want him to love me back and be the fa...	MissKatie307	4	1317	Apr 1, 2009 by Tahir
	Feeling a little...stuck (Preview) Hey everyone, I've been clean for about 68 days now, the first 30 days I was on top of the world, I was so proud of myself for completeing a 2 week detox program, and attending NA meetings, and making some new "clean" friends. But lately, I've been feeling a little down. I'm missing some of my ol...	nicole_mac	4	345	Mar 31, 2009 by nicole_mac
	Not Approaching Normal Update (the Anniversary, now 'til then) (Preview) 3/27/09: Good for me! I havent given it a thought in almost a week. I am disappointed, tho, that I cant pick up my medallion this weekend, LOL. (My homegroup is Sat AM and sobriety date falls on Monday the 6th.) Oh well, perfect lesson in keeping it in today! I was going through some old notes and such on a...	LeeU	4	456	Mar 30, 2009 by LeeU
	hey Anthony (Preview) this message was too long for your white board...ha right on!!! i consider cigarettes a mind / mood altering substance.. um for me it was 9 months since i had a smoke on march 16 th. and as for fat its taken me till now to even start thinking about taking a step one on food, i think it will be the hardest one cau...	wantneeda	2	338	Mar 30, 2009 by wantneeda
	Six months clean today.....bitter sweet (Preview) My name is Kathleen, and I am an addict. Today I have reached a milestone and that is being drug free for six months. I have remained clean for the past six months, and am in a whole new place in my life now. I am very successful at school. I made the Dean's List last semester, and I am going to receive an academ...	kitizzy	14	501	Mar 28, 2009 by DeanC
	sometimes I wonder (Preview) sometimes I wonder Current mood: confused Category: Life some ppl would say I have it good some would say damn how does she do it I say does it ever stop when do the good things start to happen in my life why am I still alone is it by choice.... I wonder... I keep ppl at distance for a reason no real relationsh...	Manon	1	425	Mar 27, 2009 by LeeU
	IPN & Job Interviews (Preview) Hi. I am new to the message board. I have been a RN for 13 years. Last year, after going through a difficult divorce & financial struggles, I became addicted to narcotics during a long battle with undiagnosed severe clinical depression. I began diverting drugs from the hospital and was caught b...	ARNPinprogress	2	4846	Mar 27, 2009 by Jana40503
	Best way to help my son???? Feedback (Preview) My son is trying to stay clean. He is recently out of a short detox/rehab facility and has returned to his fiance' and his child who is about a year old. He is now back to work and faced with the demands of returning to the job and responsibilities he has. He is fearful as I hear it in his voice when I speak t...	Wildcat	3	452	Mar 26, 2009 by DeanC
	Things Im learning while quitting smoking . (Preview) 1 ) Everything in life is a trigger. This starts when I wake up. My first though is getting a smoke. After I eat, When I get in the car , If I perform any task whatsoever , Before I go anywhere, After I get home from anywhere ect ect ect. This is scary stuff. I am powerless over my life . Things have to be done but I...	AnthonyG	6	632	Mar 26, 2009 by BigV
	POSTING A FRIENDS POEM by lea mc cabe (Preview) WHERE HAVE I BEEN? WHERE AM I GOING? BY LEA MC CABE Where have I been? I been hiding. Living in hell, the world spinning past me. No one to tell. Locked away. A cavern in my mind, Tears from my heart, Hope I could not find. Where have I been? In a deep, dark sea, Winking my emotion, drowning to rock bottom, Thi...	xan	3	1069	Mar 26, 2009 by BigV
	KEEP SHARING (Preview) I have not shared for about a month. I know that if I do not share and give it away I will not stay sober. I have 10 months...of not picking up. I feel that I have not been sober for 10 months, in many ways I was still very toxic and still am. I am learning through listening to others and accepting suggestio...	ANNY	3	484	Mar 26, 2009 by BigV
	A great way to start the day! (Preview) So, I've been in between sponsors for the last few months...a couple of weeks ago (38 days to be exact) I decided that it wasn't working for me being sponsorless, and began my hunt. Though I'm one of those 'females with trust issues' I know that trying to get through all this without help just aint gonna...	elizabeth	1	647	Mar 24, 2009 by AnthonyG
	Trying To Tale A Deep Breath... (Preview) ... and remind myself that it is going to be OK. There are times when the past comes roaring up and bites me on the rear-end so fraking hard that I am amazed that I can sit down. I've got an un-treatable heart condition called "premature ventricular contraction" where the heart kinda forgets...	cleanNOTsober	4	505	Mar 24, 2009 by LeeU
	short update (Preview) doing better still a bit overwhelmed with life on it's own terms going thru major med changes that makes things a little harder to handle but I am doing it going thru a 4 month course of 16 sessions on borderline personality disorder seems to be interesting I see my shrink again today I am sick with Bronch...	Manon	2	419	Mar 24, 2009 by drugfree
	ONE MONTH TODAY! (Preview) WOOHOO!!!! i made it a month. with a little help of treatment. but thats alright. i hope that everyone is doing good. dont forget. live day by day. minute by minute second by second and you can do it! look at me. im 17 i didnt really want to join NA but here i am clean and sober. feeling farking awesome. so if i...	defeatedgirl123	6	470	Mar 24, 2009 by DeanC
	Anxiety-nervousness-stress (Preview) My son just got out of a three day re-hab where he was detoxed. This time he says he is determined to beat it one day at a time. He has been abusing prescription meds for quite a while, and has a history of other drug use from marijuana to xanax etc. His mom and I have known about his problem and have always b...	Wildcat	3	543	Mar 23, 2009 by elizabeth
	Am I welcome as a "loved one"? (Preview) I am not a recovering addict, but someone I love very much is. God finally "placed him gently" in jail where he is getting counseling, drug classes and reading a lot. He is very willing and wants to truly be done with that part of his life. He's very open about all that he's gone through but how d...	LoriD	8	363	Mar 23, 2009 by LeeU
	Life shows up... (Preview) So, I had my coffee, let the dog out, posted here, got dressed for work, and thought "today is a good day!" And then Life showed up.... My truck has been at the mechanic's for the last 4 days having the clutch replaced...still not done, but that's ok. So, my fiance has been shuttling me back an...	elizabeth	6	410	Mar 22, 2009 by elizabeth
	Let's try this again! (Preview) It's me again. I posted a topic this past tuesaday.... I hadn't had a pill at all that day... untill... about 7pm. Failed the very first day. I wanted to quit for good, I told myself that I should cut back, not do it cold turkey... some excuse huh? So, I'm here again. I haven't had a pill this morning (I do...	Nina	8	488	Mar 22, 2009 by susan
	A friend passed away, food for thought... (Preview) Last week my friend's wife passed from breast cancer. She had two young children, she was so truly beautiful. She never asked for breast cancer and fought to the death. It made me think of all the stupid risks I took with my own health, how pathetic it would be to get a disease that I caused myself when othe...	emily	3	394	Mar 22, 2009 by DeanC
	its the little things ...... (Preview) hey everyone, i just felt like sharing my experiance today. So the car that i'm borrowing from my parents got hit today, but the grace of god there isn't much damage. I was really upset... I turned into a crying mess but i'm very gratitful i'm in recovery today. A. the person in my car didn't run away, b...	drugfree	2	613	Mar 22, 2009 by Jana40503
	Chocolates,,,,, (Preview) O by God.. ive been going crazy on chocolates. the tatse of em, the varieties you get here in England and my own sweet ttoth have conspired to give me a chocolate craving. I need to stop this excess as I have no gall bladder to cope with the extra insulin chocolates bring on,,,,sure fire way of getting diab...	Raman	6	447	Mar 21, 2009 by Raman
	The Anniversary: From Now 'Til Then (Preview) LeeU here-grab a cup and have a seat...this may take a while!! And bear with...probably every sentence will begin with "I". 3/1/09 I am riddled with projection that is mixed with trepidation and a mysterious anticipation. Don't like it...feels yukky. It's all over my pending....	LeeU	15	618	Mar 21, 2009 by LeeU
	Back again........ (Preview) Hey everyone, Ive been in the program for almost a year, i went through a long detox and treatment, and never felt better. I'm so incredibly grateful for this program and the brothers and sistas that helped me so much through my hardest times. (I still have them!!) I remember the first month I was hit...	sarahk	4	426	Mar 21, 2009 by Jana40503
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