this message was too long for your white board...ha
right on!!!
i consider cigarettes a mind / mood altering substance..
um for me it was 9 months since i had a smoke on march 16 th. and as for fat its taken me till now to even start thinking about taking a step one on food, i think it will be the hardest one cause i can't give up food altogether. I have never been the get to the gym 5 days a week type ..or ever... for that matter, so ya, seeing myself fit in my minds eye is what i will practice , thats what i did before i quit smokin, practiced seeing myself as a non-smoker ya know my lungs are still not clear, cause i didn't just smoke for a short time...it was a 30 year love affair, best friendship.. so just like my other addictions ..i wont' recover over night either
We sure are a work in progress, yup, miracles in progress :)
Its nine days today for me. Cold turkey. The first 6 were full of splitting headaches and general all out lethargy. Seems to be getting better. My candy consumption has risen dramatically . Wieght will need monitoring.
I think it comes down to just wanting to do the right thing. If it aint practical then it aint spiritual. Believe me , if I could find a practical reason to continue smoking I would be puffing away.
I really want to give this recovery thing a shot. Ive done my time and earned my chair. The idea of death never scared me. Ive been close and actually feel almost comforatable about it. But the idea of life. Of being happy and fulfilled . Of gaining self worth and purpose from helping others. Now thats something new. I want to check that out.
Im 49 years and 6 months old. Off dope for 9 months and 25 days . Finally Im not afraid of who Im going to be when I grow up.
I never could do that on my own. Thanks God and thanks NA. The other day I awoke very early. For the first time in my adult life the sounds of birds singing in the morning WAS NOT the most depressing sound on earth.
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
wow Anthony what an amazing post!! seriously i have goose bumps
i know all to well the increase of sugar, when i first get detoxing from alcohol and drugs my sugar intake increased dramatically
when i gave up the smokes my coffee AND sugar increased insanely, i really thought the opposite would happen with the coffee, but nope,, not too long ago i pretty much gave up the coffee to, i now drink Reishi coffee, which has health benefits and has micro amounts only of caffeine and i am still eating lots of sugar...i choose not to beat myself up over it though because in the long run i am getting healthier, one step at a time
time
time takes time..
ba humbug i used to say to that saying, now i get it, in my HP's time not mine, life on lifes terms, about acceptance, surrender and letting go
i can relate to not being scared of death i remember that day when i thought to myself...yup this is it...i will be a drug addicted loser for the rest of my life...i surrendered in that moment to staying out there in active addiction,
thank God i didn't stay in that surrender, and i definitely didn't do that on my own either, i tried doing it on my own many times and couldn't and wouldn't do it Congrats on your clean time my friend
i don't know how old a grown up is, but i am happy with whatever my age is today as long as i stay close to my HP, NA and continued learning
thanks for the goose bumps, i love it when that happens :) hugs Wendy
