My name is Kathleen, and I am an addict. Today I have reached a milestone and that is being drug free for six months. I have remained clean for the past six months, and am in a whole new place in my life now. I am very successful at school. I made the Dean's List last semester, and I am going to receive an academic recognition award tomorrow night for mu steady success in school. Also, my writing has bumped me up two levels in my english studies and therefore cut two semesters away from my school!
Everything is wonderful, all things are fabulous. I am a grateful addict in recovery........
Now for the irony....
Today, just after supper, I recieved a notice of motion from my ex husband.
This same message board that has helped me through some of my hardest days is now being used as evidence. My ex husband has found this safe haven of mine and is usingmy posts as a reason why I should have no contact with two of my beautiful daughters in my own home until they are 15 and 17.This would mean that it would be 5 years before they can set foot into my house again. He is going to court and asking for supervised visits in his town which is 300 miles away from where I live.
I am not ashamed for being a drug addict, and I am proud of the progress that I have made in my life and in my spirit. I know that I have my friends and my higher power.
I am asking all of my MIP friends to pray for me, and pray for him too. But please send the biggest prayers up for my two beautiful daughters. The two that are going to hurt the most.
I know today that I do not have to use over this, and as they say "Everythingsgonna be alright".....
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
Greetings Kathleen, I'm sorry that your shares here at this spiritual place of healing and recovery is being used against you today by misinformed people in an attempt to separate a mother and her daughters. Very sad state of affairs indeed. May your Higher Power soon reveal to you His loving and caring intention for you behind this.
Grateful to read what you shared above, "Everything's gonna be alright"... So glad we have a program today practicing which we can find the serenity, courage and wisdom that we need to face whatever comes our way in our daily lives. What a blessing.
Congatulations on your 6 months of miraculous recovery, and for your academic recognition and waiver of 2 semesters. Way To Go my dear sister in recovery very inspiring...
At times, I've experienced that even though I've moved on by through the healing and growth that this spiritual program offers, my loved ones are still stuck back there in the reality of terror that addiction and codependency brought about in their lives. In the beginning, this frustrated me a lot. I so desperately tried for them to see what I see through this program. Only when I worked on my frustration and despair did I realize that they don't have what I have today - the 12 Steps and a fellowship that can relate and understand. But I do continue to believe that just as my Higher Power carried me through, inspite of all my defects and dysfunctions, and led me to awareness and growth in NA, so does their Higher Power care for them, carrying each of my loved ones through everything and leading them to the awareness that they need, in their Higher Power's own time. This has given me a lot of peace, and have brought me more closer to detachment, faith, patience and acceptance in context of my situations with my loved ones. Just felt like sharing this...
Prayers and best wishes.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hi Kathleen! Congratulations with your enormous six month success. I admire you so much. I loved hearing your success story. You are a great person, you are a great mother, because you got help and you stuck with it. If anything your stupid x2b should know is that I think this can work FOR you more than against you. It is proof of your huge effort, committment and success and STRENGTH! Let him fight. You take it easy. Your HP is watching over you, and has blessed you. You got through one huge challenge, you can do anything. Hang on to your successes as they are HUGE. I wish I could personally give you a medal for what you have achieved. best wishes, emily.
Congratulations on SIX months! That is a freaking miracle!
I understand your fears and hurt over your ex husband's actions. My ex tried very hard to get sole custody of our children when I asked for a divorce at 8 months clean. I was SCARED TO DEATH! He had everything on his side but you know what... We got joing managing conservatorship, we share our boys 50/50 and we even get along today! Family court judges are loathe to separate moms and their children. You stay clean (you might want to start having a paper signed at meetings, it could help you in court), offer to take random drug tests at your ex's request (and expense!), that helped my case (he's never asked me to take one and he respects my recovery now). Everything is already alright and a higher power is in charge... Not judges or lawyers or ex-husbands!!!
Godspeed and God bless!
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The truth does not change based on my inability to stomach it - Flannery O'Connor
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations - Michael J. Fox
congrats on 6 months. sorry to hear about the custody thing. I had similar issues in early sobriety. It is what is, and will be what it will be. sometimes the "wreckage of our past" has to be atoned for, meaning if we had never used, we'd wouldn't be facing the problem. Humility is the ability to take our fair share of the blame for situations and turn it over to our HP and hope for the best. Good luck, I'm praying for you. Dean
Kathleen you are doing so well. With school and your soberity congrats. As far as what your exhusband is doing that is terrible. Unfortunetly when people look for something bad they usually will find it. And that is becuase no one is perfect. Not that I think being in this online community is bad because it is not. No matter how well a person is doing or how long it has been since they used these bumps in the road happen. I have found out the hard way as well. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!!
Hi Kath, Congrats on 6 months that is waay cool. I have learned that my life is in GODs hands and he will do things I cant begin to comprehend.
As an addict I often play " worst case scenario " I will play a situation out to its end in my mind. On rare occasions I get one. But most times the end is far less painful than I ever envisioned.
One of the problems with me doing that is the negativity I hold onto while Im playing these things out. This is a prime example of My will Over MY GODS will. My God wants whats best for me. He is caring , compassionate,forgiving,empathetic. He will not let me flounder. Your seeing the positive in your life and thats great. Its you letting your God work for you.
We will see what GOD brings you. He/She may do exactly what your worst fears are. Or these pages taken out of your journal of recovery could be handed to a judge in recovery. Or a million things in between.
IM praying for you and your babies. God will do whats best.
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Kathleen 6 months of clean time your a miracle in progress, don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of that progress.
If I was a judge or some other person in charge of making decisions on other peoples lives and one of them came to me with evidence that another person involved was actively getting help for there problems I would definetly use that in the favor of one person and we know who that is, so stay the course.
CONGRATULATIONS you are a blessing today and so will your children be, prayers to your ex also.
congratsand cudos for you kiddo i am glad to see you posting i have missed you in the room and was happy to see this post and read the good news stay clean and serene
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
Thanks for all of the words of encouragement guys :) I am thankful that today I can be okay with who I am. I can embrace both the good and the bad because without both I would not be the person that I am today. I will keep posting and let you know how it turns out.
Kat
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
i am sorry i didn't read this post better but i do have something for you my 1rst wife tried to make a big deal about me being in the program some years ago and the judge nipped it right in the bud he said that it was evidence that i was doing what i needed to do to get my life on track and that anonymous is anonymous and shut her right down and then he ordered her to take a piss test and that ended her bid to stop me from seeing my kids so if you have a lawyer he should try the same thing maybe i will pray for you and your kids and still congrats on the 6 months and be strong we are here for you and yours
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
I forgot about that small part. Anonymous IS anonymous. It's all good, I am doing all of the right stuff, and I am very happy with where I am today. I feel good about this.
Take Care,
Kat.
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
Hi...the pain and fear and anger of legal/custody stuff is horrible. When I went through something similar the shoe was on the other foot and I tried to prove my ex-husband was an alcoholic/druggie and unfit to take our daughter anywhere. He got a good lawyer and a sympathetic judge and that was the end of that. Only when I was well on my way as a straight/sober person did I come to appreciate the blessing that "the system" did not choose to use addiction in and of itself as the defining criteria for fit parenting. A mother in recovery? Work it girl, work it! And good luck.
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Just an update on my situation with my ex husband. He chose not to allow our children to come to my house to visit me over their spring break. By doing this, he decided to put himself into contempt of court. At the eleventh hour, on the Friday afternoon when the girls were started thier holiday, my lawyer phoned me to tell me that he (the ex) had changed his mind, and that I could go pick them up the following morning. Unfortunately for me, I now live in today. I had already cancelled my car reservations, and my childcare, and it was impossible to get to my daughters house in time to pick them up. My ex husband has offered me a visit at easter. Provided I stay in his area. We are working out the details. There is only one thing that I know for sure. I don't settle anymore, and I will not except anything less than what we shared before. I can go for the gold.....And I deserve it. What he did is not okay, but instead of bitterness, I can approach the issue with eyes focused on resolutions. He may have been able to deal with someone who would just roll over and feel victimized. That person does not live here anymore. Wait till he meets this new girl....
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
Kitizzy, having been where you're at, with having to deal with visitation for 11.5 years, and pay about $80k in child support, I would recommend being extremely civil and resisting game playing. It was helpful for me to be rock solid in my consistency with my visitation, and child support payments. I was never late for either! I got the greatest compliment from my x-MIL about what a great father that I was. This was the same woman who told me to my face, that "I was a hopeless drunk and that I'd never get sober".
very inspiring...
Hi...the pain and fear and anger of legal/custody stuff is horrible. When I went through something similar the shoe was on the other foot and I tried to prove my ex-husband was an alcoholic/druggie and unfit to take our daughter anywhere. He got a good lawyer and a sympathetic judge and that was the end of that. Only when I was well on my way as a straight/sober person did I come to appreciate the blessing that "the system" did not choose to use addiction in and of itself as the defining criteria for fit parenting. A mother in recovery? Work it girl, work it! And good luck.
