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How much more stupid can I get ?
(Preview)
Goddamnit !! I fit the joker bill perfectly,,,, I think Im going to move aroud here and inrto myself to people as "Hey, myname is Rama and Im a joker and an asshole!!!" The Basic Text says that somethin in the personality of an addict cries for failure. This is the space where Im at right now. My...
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Raman
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6
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440
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My point of choiceless awareness !!!
(Preview)
My friends and fellow addicts, Im certain of one thing as a result of looking at my own behaviour in these past few days; I am angry.... I was walking along the beach, on a lovel day, ut feeling sad, foolish and sorry for myself..I prayed and prayed.. Then I let it all go and I had a thought 'Hell, Ive been ang...
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Raman
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10
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844
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just an update b4 the new year
(Preview)
This escort thing is almost harder to stop doin dope something alwayd drives you back with me being disabled it sux cause money is always an issue and my mom and I looked at newer apt for me so i cannot be found or bothered where I can sneak in and no one knows I am there I will feel safer in many ways The DRAMA in...
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Manon
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4
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452
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Step Two
(Preview)
I was reminded today about the necessity of working a thorough step 2.There was a meeting and someone with a number of years clean was in a rage. He was talking about being 'dissed' and the "law of the streets" with all the violence, revenge, and anarchy.I didn't hear him once mention power...
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avid
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8
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597
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JFT December 31 Being or service
(Preview)
December 31Being of serviceWorking with others is only the beginning of service work.Basic Text, p. 59=Were in recovery now. Through living the program, weve attained some stability in our lives. Our faith in a Higher Power has grown. Our individual spiritual awakening is progressing comfor...
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Dave R
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3
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728
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This is addiction; it's true nature...
(Preview)
I AM YOUR DISEASETo all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.Allow me to introduce myself; I am the disease of addiction! Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful! Thats me. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretendi...
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Raman
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1
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369
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omg i feel i turned my drug addiction into food
(Preview)
All i wanna do is eat. its drivin me outta my mind. i got out of rehab after 9 weeks november 9th. i havent used but all i wanna do is eat. i mean is this normal or wut? i dont know wut to do. has anyone ever gone through this? i understand this isnt a weight loss site ut this is only since ive been in recovery. PLZ H...
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Caroline
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6
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562
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seems all I wanna do is sleep
(Preview)
I really just don't have the energy to stay awake nor the desire my mind has been racing about mindless stuff so no real problem other than the cars but shit happens I 'll do what i can to get them taken care of might take a year to save the money to fix the new car thankfully I had not sold the Nissan now I gotta r...
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Manon
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2
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429
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Yet, another question...
(Preview)
When I was away in a rehab facility, I met some people that I bonded with. I have talked to a few since I left. What are your personal thoughts on maintaining friendships that were started in rehab?
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Sullen
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7
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435
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JFT December 30 Action and prayer
(Preview)
December 30Action and prayer...growth is not the result of wishing but of action and prayer.Basic Text, p. 37=Sometimes it seems as if our recovery is growing much too slowly. We struggle with the steps; we wrestle with the same problems; we labor under the same uncomfortable feelings day after da...
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Dave R
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2
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548
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JFT December 29 Through others' eyes
(Preview)
December 29Through others eyesWhen someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive.... [But] if we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts.Basic Text, p. 36=At some point in our recovery, we come to the awkward realization that the way we see...
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Dave R
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4
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514
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need advice...addict brother getting out of prison
(Preview)
Hi, my brother is a recovering addict who is just about to be released - maxed out/no parole or other stipulations - from prison after serving roughly 4 years. Our mother and our father are each offering their homes as a temporary residence for him. Neither household, however, is "clean and sob...
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e611
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2
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848
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trying to quiet the mind
(Preview)
2011 is gonna start with I am sure many of us with debt i feel like I have really screwed up I am doing the bestI can to my ability that I guess is all I can do seeing as if I am powerless but f**k now what 2 cars in the shop one cheaper than the other to fix so the old come b4 the new I am still bout home bound don't real...
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Manon
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3
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420
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
I found a sponsor about 2 months ago but am having some questions about her. Maybe you guys can guide me on this. I do not feel as if she has me really working the steps fast enough. She never calls me....maybe it's a 'tough love' thing. I do not know how the role of the sponsor works and I know that I am the...
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Sullen
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7
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664
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Crap! Missed my Home Group
(Preview)
Just look at my watched and realized my Home Group meeting is just ending. Busy bagging coffee I roasted earlier and forgot to set an alarm to remind me to leave and come back later if work still to be done. Small business owners aren't clock watchers like employees can be! Good thing I read from our Basic...
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Mike M
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1
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417
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Building Faith
(Preview)
Hi All.... I have been in NA a while now..... I work in a recovery center and have been neglecting my personal recovery work lately....... I have been thinking a lot about having the courage to change recently and would really appreciate some input form you guys..... I believe that courage springs fro...
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Clarity
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8
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641
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What are the lyrics to your favorite song about addiction or your experience? post them. please :)
(Preview)
What are the top 5 songs that remind you about addiction.. your experience, whatever? I have like thirty, so here are my top 5 in no particular order.... Blind Melon - No Rain lyrics All I can say is that my life is pretty plain I like watchin' the puddles gather rain And all I can do is just pour some tea for t...
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Linds C
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19
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541
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Frozen by fear
(Preview)
It's been awhile since I shared with you guy's about what's been goin on for me, cause life's been cruisey. Up till now. For those of you who don't know my story I lost my first husband to an overdose on the 21st of December 1996 and on some level I still feel responsible for his death. Logically I know that I...
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Ruthy
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8
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667
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JFT December 28 Depression
(Preview)
December 28DepressionWe are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression.Basic Text, p. 27=As addicts, many of us experience depression from time to time. When we feel depressed, we may be tempted to isolate ourselves. However, if we do this, our depression may turn to despa...
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Dave R
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4
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1009
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Old is going out New is coming in
(Preview)
Ponder this: First don't use no matter what For me I check my motives behind the plans I might have and see if three is gonna be consequences for my actions or what my intetion might be I actually drove a little today got outta the house and for christmas went to my familys house ans spent the holidaze with t...
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Manon
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2
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308
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JFT December 27 God could restore us to sanity
(Preview)
December 27God could restore us to sanityThe process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. The strength to move into action comes from this belief.Basic Text, p. 25=Now that weve finally admitted our insanity and seen examples of it in all its manifestations, we might be tempted to believe th...
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Dave R
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3
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512
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AA or NA?
(Preview)
Okay. When I left rehab I entered the rooms of AA. In rehab I introduced myself as an alcoholic and an addict but when I started going to my AA meetings I was discourage from using both terms. I recently went to my first NA meeting and asked some of the old-timers their thoughts on this. They told me tha...
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Sullen
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7
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573
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Anger in my relationship...
(Preview)
This is insane,, we are makin the same mistake; over and over again... Start arguing and then believe it will not hurt us this time.... Clean and serene or is this plain and simple clean and crazy ??? Why am I doin what Im doin ? Is it that this is the first time really,,, in clean time, that Ive actually fac...
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Raman
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4
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546
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JFT December 26 Never-failing power
(Preview)
December 26Never-failing PowerAs we learn to trust this Power, we begin to overcome our fear of life.Basic Text, p. 25=We are people accustomed to placing all our eggs in one basket. Many of us had one particular drug of choice that was our favorite. We relied on it to get us through each day and make l...
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Dave R
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4
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635
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Getting lazy and losing my enthusiasm...
(Preview)
I am quite sure I am not the only one this has happened to but here goes. I left rehab on October 7th. I relapsed a few times since then, then worked real hard for a 30 day chip. The day after I got that chip, I relapsed. While I was really working the program before that chip, I felt God everywhere in my lif...
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Sullen
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9
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636
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Just Curious
(Preview)
Just curious, anyone active on the forum with more than 30 years Clean? Yeah I know Clean time does not necessarily equal quality of recovery. Just could be good for my ego to know so I could ask them to beat me into submission now and then. Don't think for a second I'm kinding! If the answer is no, I hereby...
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Mike M
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5
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466
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A different meaning for all!
(Preview)
This day brings many different emotions to many different people.Through faith and trust in our individual Higher Power's grace and mercy for us we can share the love God has for us with others even when it is "very dark".I wish everyone peace and serenity,that you can find,by placing yo...
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MIKEF
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2
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737
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Merry Christmas
(Preview)
Merry Christmas to all and may we keep and share the gift of N\A we are so blessed with.
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GARY
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4
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441
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JFT December 25 Anonymity and self-will
(Preview)
December 25Anonymity and self-willThe drive for personal gain... which brought so much pain in the past falls by the wayside if we adhere to the principle of anonymity.Basic Text, p. 76=The word anonymity itself means namelessness, but theres a larger principle at work in the anonymity of the...
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Dave R
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3
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649
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well it's Christmas eve
(Preview)
its almost over and hopefully the traffic by my apt will let up some soon I have been in this apt too much I am starting to get cabin fever as soon as they slow down out there I can get around more comfy like anyway hoping this msg finds you b;lessed have a happy holiday whatever you might call it since this is a...
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Manon
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5
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535
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