Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat.
Basic Text, p. 22
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Complete defeatwhat a concept! That must mean surrender. Surrenderto give up absolutely. To quit with no reservations. To put up our hands and quit fighting. Maybe to put up our hand at our first meeting and admit were addicts.
How do we know weve taken a First Step that will allow us to live drug-free? We know because, once we have taken that gigantic step, we never have to use againjust for today. Thats it. Its not easy, but its very simple.
We work the First Step. We accept that, yes, we are addicts. One is too many, and a thousand never enough. Weve proven that to ourselves enough times. We admit that we cannot handle drugs in any form. We admit it; we say it out loud, if necessary.
We take the First Step at the beginning of our day. For one day. This admission frees us, just for today, from the need to live out our addiction all over again. Weve surrendered to this disease. We give up. We quit. But in quitting, we win. And thats the paradox of the First Step: We surrender to win, and by surrendering we gain a far greater power than we ever imagined possible.
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Just for today: I admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I will surrender to win.
For me, surrendering was a great relief. It meant I didn't have to wrestle with trying to control my addiction. I admitted that I cannot control it. The only way for me to have some "control" is to make this admission and not use drugs.
LOL. My 1st NA meeting was today, and I made person number 3 in the room. At 1st I was just going to turn around and leave. I was not planning on going there to share or talk or meet anyone, I was going to make the meetings I have to do as part of my outpatient program. Two more people came, and then we were 5. And I did share, admitting that I am an addict. Not an admission I wanted to make, but one I know to be truth. No one in the room judged me, they listened and thanked me for coming, praised me for sharing, encouraged me to come back & to check out other meetings. Then I came home and checked out this board, and lo & behold, read this. Go figure how life works. I can do this, just for today.
