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update
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i probally won't be at the meetings for awhile i have to go to therapy because they damage my spinal cord during surgery now i cant walk but i will get that back thanks for all your support though everything. i am still clean almost 13 months and feel great that way anyway love you all jayson cole
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jcd aka jayson cole
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5
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495
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Personal messages
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I just noticed that this board is not set up for personal messages, like the rest of the MIP boards are. The only option is to allow others to use your email address, which some wouldn't want to do (doesn't bother me) but a PM function would be a lot less intimidating for most. Some times there are things...
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DeanC
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life on lifes terms.
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hi family. ive run into a situation that ive let piss me off now all night. im really torn about my options and because i dont yet have a sponser im going to bounce it off the room. i was in a meeting there was a newcomer there that was completly fighting anything that was said. over an hour was spent trying t...
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mrwinkie
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10
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E-bay alert
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hi folks, don't know if anyone is interested . there's a good chunk of NA history being sold on e-bay right now..jimmy Ks son is selling off his dads library as part of the clean up to his moms estate. the items are going pricey, but Ive spent much more on dope than anything Ive seen so far. just search narc...
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mrwinkie
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662
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Isolated but wired
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Hi y'all, I spent 16 years incarcerated; I've been out 8. Now I live in the middle of nowhere and prefer these meetings. I've spent thousands on therapy, been sober a long time with the help from humans, which I believe are HP on Earth. Getting high was the alternative to blowing my brains out, so I ne...
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Nikky
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5
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427
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STRESS-It's a sobriety killer
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How do you get over the sudden urge to use after being sober for over 1 year? Sometimes I get such a strong urge just to feel that pipe in my hand, go through the ritual, feeling that invinceable, full of energy feeling again. I know I was using to fill that empty place inside me but I can't find a substitute t...
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cembry57
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649
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Up Or Down
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Up Or Down "This is our road to spiritual growth. We change every day.... This growth is not the result of wishing but of action and prayer." Basic Text, pages 35-36 Our spiritual condition is never static; if it's not growing, it's decaying. If we stand still, our spiritual progress will l...
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BigV
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473
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Enough, enough
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"Something inside cries out, 'Enough, enough, I've had enough; and then they are ready to take that first and often most difficult step toward dealing with their disease." Basic Text, page 203 Have we really had enough? This is the crucial question we must ask ourselves as we prepare to wo...
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BigV
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421
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a real addict
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Hello, First of all: Sorry for my bad english. hopefully anybondy understand what i am trying to tell. i wonder if i am really addicted. i am clean for little more than three years. i was drinking and pot smoking whenever i had mony and time. sometimes i take cocaine and heroin. i decided to change someth...
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harryw
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7
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572
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Weekender- Feelings of Guilt
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I've not really posted on here before, but post often on the Alanon site. I have an A BF who I struggle to maintain boundaries with. However, it has also come to my attention that perhaps I also have a problem with drugs. I have started a pattern where every couple of weeks I go out and "party"...
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Codependent
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I WENT WRONG SOMEWHERE
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WHEN I REFLECT BACK ON WHAT HAPPEN TO CAUSE MY RELAPSE I HAVE TO WONDER COULD I HAVE PREVENTED IT. OR WAS THE RESERVATION TO GET HIGH PLANTED SO DEEP IN MY SUB-CONSCIENCE THAT A RELAPSE WAS DESTINE TO HAPPEN...I TELL MYSELF PERHAPS IF I WOULD'VE SURRENDERED MORE OFTEN, LIKE SURRENDERING CONSTANTLY IN T...
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dell1st
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557
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Needing a sponsor? I can't get one if I don't get to meetings!
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Hi all.. Just checkin in.. Sponsorship is so much a part of our program that not having one leaves a HUGE void.. I know this after over 20 yrs I moved to a new town and no dependable transpo nearby. I read, I came to this board and others around the net.. I pray.. what's been missing is actually calling to s...
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staci O
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"Questions, questions that need answers..." Gandalf
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Hi Guys and Girls, I guess this is really for a moderator of this site. Is there a page that displays rules or guidelines for this site? As a new member I just want to make sure I'm not steppin' on anyone's toes. Some recovery sites don't allow you to post web addresses of other recovery sites, etc. Can you g...
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dan h
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3476
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The Butterfly
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Hello everyone, I found this some time ago somewhere on the net and just wanted to share it. Peace, Dan The Butterfly "The butterfly is ever more blessed than other creatures of flight. Though all grace the heavens in the ecstasy of flight, the butterfly has known the drudgery of the crawl and th...
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dan h
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806
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Something Different
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"We could not live and enjoy life as other people do. We had to have something different and we thought we had found it in drugs." (BT Pg. 13) It seems like my whole life has been a never ending search for "something different." Maybe it's because there always seemed to be some...
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dan h
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DONT FORGET TO HAVE SOME FUN
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Its healthy to go out and DO SOMETHING dont just sit around enjoy your recovery I am headed out to do some night fishing right now for catfish and striped bass anbd whatever else wants some of me LOL Tomorrow I gotta work helping my girlfriend move into her new house and Sunday I go gold dredging with my new...
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BigV
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562
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Before It's Too Late
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The recent death of one of our members here in Indianapolis, Gayla N. has touched me deeply. I didn't know Gayla very well, but I remember her exuberance, her zest for living, and her beautiful smile. Reading the news report of the accident that took her life, I thought about just how short life is and ho...
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dan h
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432
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growing pains
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I cannot seem to shake this depression. I finally stood up for myself and told Allen I was not going to be his human yo-yo anymore it is not fair for either of us. I am just at the point in my life where I am not willing to settle. I know what I want, and I am not settling for anything else. I can't say standing up f...
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Manon
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502
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Friends
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Do you have to give up all the friends you have used with in order to get clean? I have a small group that I think really care about me but that struggle with addiction as well. I am struggling with if I can want sobriety more than I want their companionship...
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Codependent
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439
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I truly believe if I relapse again I'm not coming back!
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I not a stranger to NA. I been in and out of NA since 3/94. The first attempt at recovery I stayed clean 1 day shy of three years. Since then I've haven't been able to put together any real substantial amount of time. Everytime I went out the relapse got progressively worst. This time however I'm at...
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Bill G
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19 Years Clean and Sober Today
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Grateful for a life filled with many blessings year after year, too many to count. I'd have been dead a long time ago if not for the intervention of a higher power. I owe all that I have to HP and the people in these 12 step programs. Thanks to all of you. Dean
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DeanC
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1015
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Self Esteem
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I am a "binge" addict who is just now recognizing how my using effects my life. I am scared of never being able to do different and feeling terrible about myself as a person and a Christian. I picture future weekends and my friends and wonder how I will ever do different...then feel bad abou...
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Codependent
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Surrender Is For Everyone ( this spoke to me )
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And this is why i read these or try to each day, I NEED to be reminded, I need a little shoulder shake once in awhile because i get complacent and lazy in my recovery, heres the thought for today ; "If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doin...
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BigV
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MAN WHAT A DAY but i'm alive and home
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I just smashed the bottom side of my truck today prospecting and it cost me over $500 to get a tow truck to come way back there and pull me out it was F'd up what I did to put it mildly, they charged me $175 per hour and it was 3 hours total but I had no choice I would have had to leave my truck full of gear and my dre...
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BigV
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Self Esteem/Confidence
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Hi i'm Bethany/Addict! I've been clean for 18 months! I've acomplished so much in those 18 months that i should be proud of but i have one fear. When i go to meetings i freeze up. I pass without sharing, my mind is full of thoughts but i'm afraid they will sound stupid comming out. I go to this awesome...
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buff87
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will you please read my story ?
(Preview)
The guy who lives music !! My name is Raman and I am an addict, I came into NA as a coincidence,which being me reading the "Basic Text" while I was in a treatment center.I had a long run with all sort of drugs and was really sick and tired of it all.I had many good times with drugs but...
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Raman
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1016
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Everything all at once?!? How do you handle THAAT!
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Day 40 and I know recovery is new. But today was HARD. Got out of rehab and now my whole life is in transition. I'm still fighting my body to regain my energy, I'm back working full time, I've got kids (my oldest leaves for college next week), I've got money problems (I know...who doesn't) so I have to sell...
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oxysurvivor2
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565
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A fab weekend !!!
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I drove down 200 miles to a coastal town for their 1 ywar anniversary of NA. Im glad I went,, I was there last year too. This year there were 5 members and last year there was only one. There were also five of us from out of town. The look of joy on one mothers face as her son shared about his recovery was g...
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Raman
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512
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I Am In Shock
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Yesterday, my fiancee admitted that he had an addiction to Percocet. He has been swallowing and snorting 10+ pills per day. This information came to light because I was planning on leaving him. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive. He has a snap temper. I gave birth five months ago to our beaut...
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spidermama
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dealing with duality in recovery
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Ia m in recovery as well as having a mental illness I often find myself backed into a corner not knowing what to say anymore my depression has taken hold and it hurts my heart to realize where Iam in my life I feel like Ishould be doing more but I do what I can by sharing how I feel to hopefully save an addict ab...
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Manon
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