I'm relaxed and prepared when I log on to conversate here....at a f2f meeting, I feel powerless when the arguing is "live". It happened at an AA meeting I was at awhile back, and that was one of the main reasons...IS one of the main reasons....I don't want to be a prisoner of a dysfunctional group. Groups represent AA/NA and any other A just like a church represents God - to the best of their human ability, and humans fail (such as priests that molest altar boys....do we not kick THEM out??????????) (or do we let them stay and continue the molestation?????).

I would choose to leave. I would not remain silent. Nuff said.

I have not been to any other NA sites, and I don't care to. The arguing makes me think, which I'd rather do in the comfort of my own home rather than be traumatized by some freak at a f2f meeting, which I have already been victimized by and will NOT go through again. One of the best therapists in the world said there are some in "A" groups that will actually try to keep people from what's known as Stage 2 recovery....trust me, I've met them. They basically tell you to shut up and put up with unacceptable "anything", which reminds me of listening to my dad's lectures that I'd memorized and numbered (here comes lecture number 54). That's mental abuse; I'm challenging it now and not volunteering to hear it.

I like debate, I just need to feel safe when I'm ready for it.

Thanks for kindly sharing guys/gals, I am just requesting we all take the time to keep our focus on the ball. I know certain things said are going to set off response what  I was told was do not react, respond, if you feel the need to defend something personal  then yes a nerve may have been struck some where and that takes some looking at.


Ok I gotta go and dredge now spent half the day getting all my stuff down to the river and this morning I feel every day of my 47 years and that aint nothin nice.


Keep the peace! which just happens to remind me ( have no idea why need to meditate on that ) of a concert I saw in 70's LOL no wonder i'm a mess


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIXmTGZe2w

Ok I hope that civil debate is acceptable here.    Here's a segment of the rules governing posting, in another forum that I frequent, that might helpful.

"Personal attacks or threats will not be tolerated. Go after the idea, not the poster. Free debate within the parameters outlined herein is welcome on these forums, and diversity of opinion lies at the heart of a good debate. Toward that end, every member is free to have their own opinion so long as it is expressed in a civil manner, is within the subject matter topic of the forum and does not otherwise violate forum rules."

One big thing that I had to learn to get over was being "thin skinned".  I learned, through self awareness in early recovery, that I was somewhat of a hypocrite.

I said things that were offensive, and I got offended easily.   When I realized it, I laughed and thought of creating a great T-shirt.  On the front it would read

"Be careful what you say to me, because I am a sensitive person"  and on the back it would read  "Disregard what I just said to you because I'm an insensitive person" 

Thanks Vini. For some reason the last three meetings I've attended were on Tradition Three: "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using." It talks about how we are all equal in NA, that there are "no classes of membership and no second class members." Desire is not a measurable quality, so we are relieved of the need to judge one another. In dealing with newcomers it also says that "our task is to fan the flames of thier desire for recovery, not dampen them." I know that there are people who attend meetings who are not members, there are people who are court ordered and only come because they have to. There are people who have an agenda other than recovery. There are also some people who will hear the message of recovery anyway. Once I started believing in a loving, caring Higher Power, I stopped believing in coincidences. No one shows up at an NA meeting by accident, but rather by devine appointment, and no one can judge who SHOULD be there and who should not be allowed. My BEST ideas got me to the NA Program, so how can I now think I know what is best for someone else? Yes, there is Disease sharing in our meetings, there is arrogance, there is ego and self-centeredness, denial and self-deception. But what better place for them to be, for there is also Recovery. I usually find which ever I am focused on. If I go to a meeting and find there is no recovery there, it's probably because I didn't bring any with me. That's why I keep coming back.

Thanks Dan thanks Nikky.

Thanks Dan I was just reading up on that since this starting this topic.

 NA calls them guidelines and that there non-negotiable, by following these guidlines in our dealing with others and society at large we avoid many problems, and I am going ot totally agree with that statement.

On page 58 of the NA book it lays out just how this works, recommended reading for anyone and everyone.

A few weeks ago while at a meeting the chair person spoke of how anonymity had broken with some group member to the point she was going to have to move out of state due to certain things getting back to the wrong people , imagine that , having her life in danger because of something she shared with a trusted member. Nothings perfect and sometimes we have to be very selective about who and what we share with others.

I had a sponsor who I felt I could trust anything with and I did, later came to find out he was a serial rapist that he himself had deep secrets, ell who better to share secrets with LOL, there no longer secrets for me so I look at him as being something positive in my recovery though I do worry about his and how he is doing.

I am glad we all obviously like this enough to post daily, tradition one says " The most important thing about our new way of life is being a part of a group of addicts seeking recovery".

My survival has been definetly relatated to this site, Raman and Tahir who have been around actively in the 2 years or more I have been here always made me feel welcome and helped me out many times to understand things i was going through early in my recovery, those 2 and a few others who have drifted away from the site helped me I wish we all could have stuck together but peoples lives change and so do there needs and directions.

This group has really grown recently and its a big change for me having new members my hope is that we all use it to our benefit and make long lasting friendships, life free of drugs without this program might be impossible for most of us, the group = power in our lives . 

I have to say that yes I do bar people from meetings, especially when they come in and start interupting it and calling people unmentionable names, but this is a different type of venue and we're not actually recognized by NA as a group sorry to say, this is because all of us aren't actually in an area we are scattered across the glode which is pretty neat in itself.

We try to follow certain guidlines one is with NA literature and copy right laws, thats already been discussed in length on the board if you want to run a search on that its out there.

Thanks for sharing Dan I would appreciate you contacting me when you can with an email you can email me here, naway@12stepforums.net thanks.

most groups round the world do say at the start 
"if you have used today please do not share. we suggest you talk to us after the meeting" Why ?? 
And how does homo priests,methodone users relate to the subject we are discussing,,which is "Tradiotin Three=
""THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO STOP USING '"

-- Edited by Raman at 16:58, 2008-09-29