The reason I started taking opiates like I did is due primarily to my blowing out both of my shoulders, big time rotator cuff injuries, lifting weights. Was doing a bench press and while coming down, totally fried my shoulders. It was through all the rehab, surgery, pt, etc., of that, which got me started on regular opiates which then was continued by my pcp.
My shoulders still hurt. Not taking chronic pain seriously is setting anyone up for relapse, me included. Found that this is also not a new matter and has been addressed quite a lot. This link really quite good about Dr. Gorski's work.
So my PCP has referred me to doctor to address my shoulder pain without opiates. Will be pt, chiropractic, acupuncture, some therapy kind of treatments and some more pt.
While setting me up for one the therapy things today he explained it to me. Its these pads that go all over both shoulders startegically placed so that the electrical stimulation over drives ALL the muscles in my shoulder girdle so that they give up. Then once ALL of the muscles give up, I can then start doing exercises that reteach the big muscle groups to work as they should, and the small muscle groups to work as they should. Right now I'm using the muscle groups incorrectly, the small muscle groups getting pissed off, causes inflammation and swelling, causing further and more pain, hence chronic pain and SHOW ME THE VICODIN. Viscous cycle.
The goal is to totally exhuast ALL the muscle groups so that when they finally give up, I can then relearn and teach them how they are suppose to work both effectively and healthfully. I will reteach those muscles starting in small steps at first and then eventually bigger exercises, more resistance, etc., to retrain the entire shoulder muscle girdle.
As he finished explaining that to me I was misty eyed about the whole thing. He looked at me and asked what was up. I'm not sure anyone ever got misty eyed about his explanations before. I told him that he had just perfectly described recovery. And I mean perfectly.
We can not get well until we give up. I mean REALLY give up. And for must of us something drove us to the point of total surrender. Then once we FULLY give up, I am finally in a position to start taking small steps at first to relearn healthy life giving strategies with the goal of taking some bigger steps and eventually over all having a healthy and effective wholeness left where the addiction used to live. But I can't do any of it as long as I think I've still got even the smallest of muscle left to compensate. I have to give up.
He got it and said that he'd never thought of what he does for folks like me in that regard. My shoulders are in recovery.
You know part of this addiction thing is that we think we're special. I see that carrying over into folks recovery programs and mindsets as well. This being "special" is part of our disease of having over inflated egos, being self centered, whatever you want to call it. Not only is there nothing "special" about our addiction, there is nothing "special" about our recovery. Its SO common, doctors like the one I saw today do it day in and day out for all kinds of problems people have.
So I'm not special. My recovery isn't "special". The steps are the steps, do the work, you get to a place where you are using strategies that don't cause further pain and at the same time are effecive in using all your muscle groups healthfully and effectively. You get there one step at a time but the first step is to give it up, just give it up.
I just finished about a 3 year recovery form rotator cuff injuries in both shoulders. A slow speed motorcycle get off and landed on my right shoulder, and 8 months later a skiing crash took out my left. While recovering from that, I destroyed my right elbow (chronic tennis elbow) and had a flare up with my right hip, knee, and upper back from all the compensating that I was doing due to my shoulders not working properly. I'm a construction worker and can't take time off, and sense I'm self employed, I can't get disability. So ever time some healing would occur, work would re-injure it. So I'm just closing out about 3 years of all this stuff and everything is finally healing, but I've left with a tremendous amount of arthritis in all those joints. Then somewhere along the line, I damaged my left acheles (sp.) tendon. I thought it was a flare up of facia plantar (sp.) but it can't be. Any how, because of my hep C I can't even take tylenol, advil, or aleeve so I've been dealing with it with ice and heat only (and a lot of mind over mater).
You get tough after awhile when you know that you just can't have any pain killers of any kind period. My mother has 33 years clean and sober and she's had a half a dozen operations, awake! She doesn't even use novacaine at the dentest for oral surgery
Well I can tell you after one treatment today with just some minor acupuncture and the electrical thing my shoulders feel better. Still hurt but not so bad.
Thursday is major acupuncture day. Plus I get little electrode things hooked up to them. Should be fun. Maybe I can have some ECT as well?
I was a weight lifter for many years and last year tore part of the cuff for the second time decided against surgery and just cut back on lifting the way I was going, many years of steroid use also so you can imagine how deep I was into lifting, TOO DEEP!!
But I like how you put things together Jim, yes it takes a complete alteration and a complete surrender to do this and follow through each days therapy, we have to get to a appoint of surrender thats painful and knowing that we tried it our way as far as our way went.
I still have pain when I push things to far just as in life, I have to moderate my lifting and my living or I create pain.
I push hard at everything I do dredging for gold this last weekend I took yesterday off but still feel fatigued, I push my relationship with expectations and I create pain there also and it effects other people.
I hope things improve with the shoulders hang in there and follow the therapy , this is therapy also meetings are considered talk therapy I read in the AA book I believe I think Bill W or one of those guys wrote that.
Oh man I had a root canal once an the stinkin doctor could not get a nerve with the novicane that was so painful I wanted to rip the arm rests off that chair and beat the doctor to death hurt so bad, thats one tough mom Dean.
Don't you remember how the tin man got to be the tin man? First he cut off this, then he cut off that, then this accident happened, and that accident happened, than this and than that and then finally, he was the Tinman.
Remember he was the guy who in fact had the biggest heart in all of Oz even though he didn't realize it for awhile. Not exactly a bad thing.......
