i have a resentment

rocky · Senior Member

i have a resentment

DeanC · Guru

I appreciate your efforts to get to meetings, of course that is important. And I don't know what the logistics look like for you but I haven't heard you mention the amount of public transportation, bicycling, walking ect... that you are doing to remedy Your transportation problem. I don't think getting a resentment about the unfullfillment of your expectations of others is either an asset to your recovery or productive at all. If you're feeling that way, then those people are feeling it too. Nobody likes to think that they can't do enough for someone else. Gratitude for what has been given you, is the conductor of abundance, not resentment for what you have not received.
For me, when I change my attitude, magically, everyone else's attitude seems to changer for the better as well.

Dean

-- Edited by DeanC at 10:01, 2008-09-19

mrwinkie · Senior Member

i seldom agree with dean, but hes right, this isn't your home groups trip or your fellowships rocky..its yours. like dean said i don't know by your share what the whole situation is. call your sponsor , pray and turn this thing over. miracles happen. I know for me , if i want to get high ill go to any lengths to score, and it was very very seldom that i was not successful. apply that same kind of dedication to making meetings rocky, and things will work out. It only works if you are working it. Keep coming back and good luck

Anthony

one more thing.. have you had a hug today ?
((((((((((((((((((((((rocky)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

-- Edited by mrwinkie at 15:19, 2008-09-19

DeanC · Guru

mrwinkie wrote:

i seldom agree with dean,

Give it more time biggrin

seriously, I think it's more about the presentation. I ran out of sugar coating awhile ago, sorry yawn

rocky · Senior Member

i have two knee replacements and about 6 pounds of surgical steel in my back so walking is out i live in a very rural area where there is no public transportation at all
i guess i should have filled in more details and when i posted i was real mad not just a little pissed off what makes it even worse to me is that the people who have let me down the most gave me there word that this ride problem wouldn't happen i explained my problem right up front and offered then to pay my freight but i should still just chill i guess i was just disappointed and felt i had been let down it is really just my problem i just wanted to let it out before it choked me

-- Edited by rocky at 21:43, 2008-09-19

Honey Bear · Senior Member

rocky wrote:

I have a issue with my home group they are aware that i have no wheels right now so i need a ride to meets my wife is as good about it as she can be but my peeps at na have been pretty much letting me down i have offered to give gas money i know times are tuff but come on when i call they don't answer then when i get to the meet the sh-t birds i have been trying to get are sitting there front and center big as life and it pisses me off i am tired of the lip service they pay to working a program it is supposed to be about helping one another but it seems to me that these pr--ks are not living up to this creed i go out of my way for a fellow addict and do whatever i can i take phone calls at anytime just to keep what i have and these guys seem to let me down more than not i just don't know if i should say anything or not to them the more i dwell on it the more i think i am going to bring it up in a meeting and just let them know how i feel i just wanted to see if maybe someone else had a suggestion of how to or what to say

thanks guys
rocky

What a way to say hello to you but kid I am going to give it to you and give it to you straight. TRADITION 5 CARRY THE MESSAGE NOT THE ADDICT.

If you had no wheels and you needed dope you would have found a way without issues...Letting you down? People outside of meetings have lives. Your given phones numbers so you wont pick up and you wont use as a tool in your toolbox. Do they give you a ride home from the meeting?

Say thank you and be greatful. CREED? OUR spirtual principles are H.O.W Honesty Open Mindedness. WILLingness to change from active addiction.

Sorry if I sounded to harsh rocky be GREATFUL your ALIVe and you have a wife that loves you.....Most dont have that!

HoneyBear

.

rocky · Senior Member

i thought i had to flesh this out a little more i have two knee replacements and about 6 pounds of surgical steel in my back and a bunch of other stuff wrong like an artificial heart wall and mechanical valve so it makes walking around a thing of the past i live in a rural area where public tran po is non existent i was up front in the beginning and these peeps i am talking about gave me their word that they would( be there man )i even made it clear that i would pay for gas and do what i could to give to others to equal it out and give to other peeps they are the ones to volunteer their help so i wrote down the numbers and i have not abused this thing i have had to call maybe 5 times in 79 days or so and in each time that they did show i coughed up 20 bucks to them for about a 6 mile one way 12 mile round trip i don't think i am out of line to be resentful of them 13 stepping me on this ride thing i did let it go and gave it to my hp and feel better i talked to my sponsor and 1 of the peeps and i guessgot what i neede to hear i let it go doh

thank-you
rocky

-- Edited by rocky at 01:01, 2008-09-20

Honey Bear · Senior Member

rocky wrote:

i thought i had to flesh this out a little more i have two knee replacements and about 6 pounds of surgical steel in my back and a bunch of other stuff wrong like an artificial heart wall and mechanical valve so it makes walking around a thing of the past i live in a rural area where public tran po is non existent i was up front in the beginning and these peeps i am talking about gave me their word that they would( be there man )i even made it clear that i would pay for gas and do what i could to give to others to equal it out and give to other peeps they are the ones to volunteer their help so i wrote down the numbers and i have not abused this thing i have had to call maybe 5 times in 79 days or so and in each time that they did show i coughed up 20 bucks to them for about a 6 mile one way 12 mile round trip i don't think i am out of line to be resentful of them 13 stepping me on this ride thing i did let it go and gave it to my hp and feel better i talked to my sponsor and 1 of the peeps and i guessgot what i neede to hear i let it go
thank-you
rocky

-- Edited by rocky at 01:01, 2008-09-20

13th steppin is when someone goes to a meeting to just to get laid....
I think you need to go and find yourself a new home group.
20 bucks for 6 miles is a lot of money and your genous and these "p

eeps took advantage of you kid!

Dont turn around now and get a resentment over me ok?

Im sorry to here about your health my husband has had 3 heart attacks and its because he smoked crack and he is only 43. His last relasp was when I was back home in NJ taking care of my CANCER ridden Momma I told him if he went out again we were thru,,,we met in recovery.

Come on back here and dont use Rocky!

Raman · Guru

Hi Rocky,,,
I think i can see your point of view,,,
are you feeling disappointment at your Fellows ?
You know in recovery a sense of betrayl can return anytine to spoil our moods.
Its upto me to do something about not being in that "dis-ease space"
I once shared about a resentment and an old timerd said
"you know,,resentment is self harm.
Its like me drinking poison and wishing theyd die"
Which to me carried the messsage that if i carried a resentment then itd be me that i harm the most.
Heres where the 6th and 7th Steps ( "The Forgotten Steps" some say) come to the rescue,,
they have always worked in my favour and hope they will for you too.
Know also that the Gods work overtime in favour of addicts that ask for help.
As long as im not making angry demands or trying to curry it,,,the Gods have always answered my petitions.
May you be strong in this your hour of need dear friend in recovery,,,hugs
Raman an addict.

rocky · Senior Member

thanks guys i am over it i just had to whine a little then get kicked and kick myself in the tuckus and just deal at the time it was heavy on my heart i felt betraed but i had to remember that clean or not i amd dealing with addicts and we all still have our issues in life i broke down and(v spent some money that i should'nt have that sounds real comfortable huh ) bought a c ar that i can use to get to meets now i carry like 3 to 4 peeps to meets and it works just fine and i vented at the meeting about the situ and was given some good feed back and apologies so i feel better and it makes it easier to do what i need to keep clean and serene thanks for being here guys i don't know what i would do without you

thanks rocky

Tahir · Member

Thank you for sharing your frustration, Rocky. There are many ways to work on our resentments in recovery, but you did the first, basic action needed to work towards dealing with our resentments, by SHARING IT OUT LOUD

I've always found bringing things out of my system by exposing them to light, by sharing with all of you, rather than try to keep them dark, is definitely advantageous. No doubt you feel better and over it now.

I also at times share such feelings at the meetings, of course, in a non-offensive way, after having shared it one-on-one with members and after found a balance from these members' suggestions and insights. I share in "I feel" statements, owning my hurts, and by trying to avoid focusing on others, and instead, focusing on my own situation, my expectations, how I feel disappointed and hurt. Sharing it this way has been very healing for me, right in the middle of sharing itself.

NA Hugs, Tahir.

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