I am excited to say that today is the first day of my life that i am broke and okay with it,
Do you feel like you're in this for the wrong reasons? I was re-evaluating my recovery and for the first couple of months, the only thing that kept me sober was a promise that I made to a friend of mine who later became my sponsor. I didn't do it for me, i did it because I couldn't stand to let him down. I think that sometimes, I wake up and the only thing keeping me from using again is that silly promise that means the world to me for some reason along with the fact that there are people who are counting on me to help them stay sober. Everytime I get close to using, I think about him. I think about all the things he's ever said to me. And you know what? Everytime, i make it through just fine.
You need to find someone who can be not only an emotional crutch, but someone who will bend over backwards for you. I went to a program in Florida, and offered a hand to a lot of people. I even went as far as sending out a letter to some of them each day just to remind them how much i believe in them and how proud i am of them. So far, thekeep comming back. It makes me feel good to know that I can make a difference in someone elses life.
If anyone has a good story to share about helping someone, or a new way to keep others sober, please let me know. I am eager to help.
thanks guys,
addict kirsten
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"Sobriety will be a bitch, but you must love and cradle her. She will help you through and protect you from those harsh, dark realities you used to be familiar with" -Dope Sick Love
Do you feel like you're in this for the wrong reasons? I was re-evaluating my recovery and for the first couple of months, the only thing that kept me sober was a promise that I made to a friend of mine who later became my sponsor. I didn't do it for me, i did it because I couldn't stand to let him down. I think that sometimes, I wake up and the only thing keeping me from using again is that silly promise that means the world to me for some reason along with the fact that there are people who are counting on me to help them stay sober. Everytime I get close to using, I think about him. I think about all the things he's ever said to me. And you know what? Everytime, i make it through just fine.
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It sounds like you got in it through the only way you could at the time: your loyalty to your friend and your intregrity to keep a promise. I think that's beautiful to care about people and helping people as much as you seem to. However, I wonder if a part of it is your subconscious trying to keep you busy so you don't have to see any internal conflict you might be having. Feeling loved, needed, and useful is very helpful in not relapsing. Many recovering addicts still have low self esteem; I sure do. The point is that it doesn't seem like your giving yourself the credit that you're due. You got in it for loyalty and honesty: qualities--like the ability to feel guilt--that can become completely numbed in addicts.
Do you know how much it would mean to a shut in like me to have a friend I was that close to? I'm too shy to even call my sponser. I have trouble verbally asking for help. I'm so socially acqward it's not even funny. You, however, have the ability to bond; that's a skill, don't cut yourself short because you can help a lot of people in and in the world beyond NA.
I can see why you're concerned about staying sober for other people in the beginning. Everyone always says that you have to be sober for yourself. But in a way you've always been in it for yourself. You wanted for yourself to be a loyal and honest person or your vow wouldn't have meant anything to you.
There is a part of me that isn't in recovery for myself. There's a part of me that doesn't really like the idea of being drug free for the rest of my life, waking up every day to the same issue of being tempted but not being able to use. But that's life: it is what it is, and just for today I deal with it. But then one of my sister's kids hug me and I want to be a good role model for them. I want to be there with them 100% when I'm playing with them, not part of me in a drug haze. It's not like I'd ever go around them high anyway; I'm just getting to know them and the oldest is going to be 13. It was worth the wait! I am not completely alone, I have a wonderful family and the most understanding parents ever. I am blessed indeed.
If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been clean and serene?
you know, if you want, im a pretty good friend to shut ins, haha. Any time if you ever want to talk, don't hesitate- you know my email.
-- Edited by Dope Sick Love at 13:00, 2006-06-14
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"Sobriety will be a bitch, but you must love and cradle her. She will help you through and protect you from those harsh, dark realities you used to be familiar with" -Dope Sick Love
just keep coming back,no matter what.i know in my sponsorship family only same sex sponsorship is done.it keeps things simple.we have differant plumbing.only a man could help me be a man.even think of getting an email sponsor.my girlfreind did that for her first two years clean.you can reach her thru my email addy if you want.
take care ok
p.s.that invitation goes to both of you.
stick together cause we die alone
-- Edited by dalin at 14:18, 2006-07-20
-- Edited by dalin at 18:46, 2006-07-20
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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
