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Post Info TOPIC: happy clean and serene Valentines Day !!


Guru

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Posts: 3987
Date:
happy clean and serene Valentines Day !!


a very Happy clean and serene Valentine to you all !!


my life has changed,,,this evening too HP Blessed me with Love and Affection for the people that came to celebrate at the Hotel i played !!


newly divorced, girlfriend/loverless,, etc,,, but i did not have an iota of self pity,,,


instead I played my sax soulfully, led my band, emceed, and generally did all the things that go into making a good evening !!


Bless all you addicts wherever you may be,,, with whomever,,,


 a day clean ,, a day won !!1


Thanks God for the 12 Step Tradition of narcotics anonymous !!


hugs to you all !!!



__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Lon


Senior Member

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Posts: 190
Date:

Happy Valentine's Day to you too Raman,
Not an iota of self-pity you say? I too understand that I no longer have to determine how I am feeling through the act of comparing myself to others. At about 5 years clean I almost relapsed on New Years Eve, because I was feeling alone and feeling sorry for myself, about the worst feeling I can experience. About three years before that I had worked through some painful relationship issues with my sponsor, and thought that I was good to go, that the problem had been solved. As 2000 was getting ready to turn into 2001 I fell into a lonely spot, and started to compare myself to where I thought others were in their relationships. I was on my way to a local NA dance, and ended up stopping in a liquor store parking lot, and after sitting in my car for 5 or 10 minutes, went inside and purchased a bottle of whiskey. I then decided that I was still going to go to the dance and I could get drunk afterward if I still felt the same. As soon as my sponsor laid eyes on me he asked what was wrong. Eventually he used one of his sayings on me for the first time; "This too shall pass, but it might feel like you are passing a kidney stone." Yes it hurts like hell to pass a kidney stone, but not badly enough to kill yourself over! By the time the dance was over I didn't feel anywhere near perfect, but I had lost the desire to get drunk.

It's kind of funny; when we come into the rooms of NA we think the problem is dope, after a while we think the problem is us, and eventually get to the point where we realize that the problem is how we see ourselves, and how we look at the world. I didn't know how to love anyone when I came into the rooms of NA, mainly because I could not love myself. How can you have a healthy relationship with someone else when you do not know how to have a good relationship with yourself? It took quite a while for me to make amends to myself, and a lot of pain to become willing to think I needed to make those amends.

I think we all have the "hole in the soul" when we get to these rooms. It heals when we quit fooling with the hole and let it heal. Just like a hole in your arm, if you keep stuffing crap into the hole hoping it will heal, it will never get better. When we quit trying to heal our soul by filling it with dope, with people, with things, and with other sick behaviors, the soul also heals.

A long post, I know, but thanks for reminding me Raman!

Lon

__________________
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3987
Date:

great sharing Lon,, clap,clap,clap !!!


i really do appreciate all the responses you are doing on this site,, very true !!!


keep coming bcak,, it works !!!


Hugs


Raman



__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 42
Date:

Happy V day 2 to all of you.  Im late, but my son has been sick again.  Ive been to many doctors.  Ill tell you a "miracle" story in a little while.  I dont have much time tonight...i hear him whining

__________________
Danielle 10-14-04 "Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise"
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