"We use the tools available to us and develop the ability to survive our emotions."
Basic Text pg. 30
"Survive my emotions?" some of us say. "You've got to be kidding!" When we were using, we never gave ourselves the chance to learn how to survive them. You don't survive your feelings, we thought-you drug them. The problem was, that "cure" for our unsurvivable emotions was killing us. That's when we came to Narcotics Anonymous, started working the Twelve Steps and, as a result, began to mature emotionally.
Many of us found emotional relief right from the start. We were tired of pretending that our addiction and our lives were under control; it actually felt good to finally admit they weren't. After sharing our inventory with our sponsor, we began to feel like we didn't have to deny who we were or what we felt in order to be accepted. When we'd finished making our amends, we knew we didn't have to suffer with guilt; we could own up to it and it wouldn't kill us. The more we worked the NA program, the better we felt about living life as it came to us.
The program works today as well as it ever did. By taking stock of our day, getting honest about our part in it, and surrendering to reality, we can survive the feelings life throws our way. By using the tools available to us, we've developed the ability to survive our emotions.
Just for today: I will not deny my feelings. I will practice honesty and surrender to life as it is. I will use the tools of this program to survive my emotions.
Many of us found emotional relief right from the start. We were tired of pretending that our addiction and our lives were under control; it actually felt good to finally admit they weren't.
I think this is the change i've had since relapsing and coming HERE for help, I definetly had to admitt that the 5 years 9 months I had clean I wasn't under control of emotions and actions, also obsessions and expectations were both totally out of control.
I had to admitt all of this and stop pretending, which somehow changed the way i deal with all of this I surrender now rather then fight or pretend which changes everything and makes life more livable and enjoyable.
NA works in miraculous ways! I went to my noon meeting, read Just For Today, and the chair at the meeting always introduces himself by saying Hi Im... CLEAN TODAY BY THE GRACE OF GOD. My sponsor talked about emotional growth and how it doesn't happen while using. I guess if I add the 2.5 years I totally abstained,(while pregnant/nursing) to the age I was when I started getting loaded, 12, I'd be just about reaching 15 years old. No wonder I can't surrender gracefully to all the resonsibilities of 33 w/ 2 kids and a job. I'm still going through friggin puberty! My emotions are crazy, but NA is helping me to see how my emotions sabotage so many aspects of my life and also how reacting to my emotions or making major decisions in the heat of an emotional fit probably wont be the best decision.
Learning something new every day in NA, and loving that way
Yours in recovery just for today Jen
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We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience
emotions feel weird sober. i was used to being numb.
somone told me once that before you can greive anything else you have to grieve the loss of drugs when you enter into recovery.
just recently have i understood this.
when i stopped using i lost my best friend, the only thing that had been there for me no matter what on good days in celebration and on bad days lifting my spirits. then it became my means of survival. all of my actions and thoughts were drug related so i also felt like i lost the only me i knew.
i think i am finnally in the last stage of grief- acceptance-and greatful
I won't type too much on this, but let me say that without the emotional stability my experience has been the same insanity minus the drug use. I would do anything to have even a small bit of relief from the emotional pain I feel, but it isn't happening. They say the good news and the bad news is you get your feelings back. Good thing I have been around long enough to know that using or suicide isn't an option, otherwise I would try one or both. As I am today, I feel like there isn't any hope, or that things will get any better, but i try anyway because there aren't any other options. I wish i could sweeten up the truth, but either I'll do what it takes, or die.
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
Brett you dont have to sweeten it it's a bitter pill this sobriety sometimes and im proud of you for relentlessly taking a stand thru all your going thru brother, keep your head up when you can.
Thanks Sarah and Jenny wonderful shares thankyou so much
Well, so I am not the only one who has emotions. Sometimes I still think I am different than others I guess. I have heard the saying that anything I go through in life, someone else has gone through too. Why don't I remember that when I feel my feelings. sometimes I just want them to go away. I catch myself telling god to take them away, and I am thinking that is an unrealistic expectation. God made me with feelings for a reason. It just sucks sometimes. The hardest feeling that I allow myself to feel is happiness, but I can't stand to feel pain. It doesn't make sense that if I don't like feeling pain and guilt etc... than why do I deprive myself from the feelings I would rather feel? It's crazy how deep things can become. I beleive it is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I can relate to the difficult time being a mom with three kids because mentally I am kinda fourteen. For me it is difficult to accept that I am having to do things backwards in life. going from the adult to the child kinda yet still have to be the adult. Is this even possible?
Emotional Pain: If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting. Recognizing pain as merely an indicator that something needs correction, we get results. Before we act, we pray. If we want dignity, peace and creative action, we can have it. We can go, see, and do like never before. We can also choose to remain stuck in our ruts and make believe we are trapped and without choices. We tend to run from and avoid problems as our addiction progresses.
In recovery, we tend to find ourselves in more agreeable surroundings and our need to be agreeable increases proportionally. We see where we were creating problems that were invisible to us before. Recovery teaches us that we choose our reality. We never hung around long enough to see this; we changed our surroundings before it got too bad. We may cry out when someone harms us but later we see where we put ourselves in harm's way. We learn not to ask for trouble. We begin to pay attention to the stages that make up having a happy life. We work diligently to root out contradictions from our thinking, speech and actions. We learn to focus on the good things in life, allowing them to become more important than the negativity has been. We spend time doing service and we no longer feel complacent about the pain and suffering in the world.
We make ourselves part of the solution. Just as we crossed an invisible line as our disease progressed, we will cross another invisible line towards recovery. When we have gone as far with recovery as we went with our disease, our progress really takes off. We become more caring, nurturing, and competent. We are slower to anger and quicker to help. Humor becomes a habit. Those of us who regress into personal self-obsession are like prisoners trapped inside a wall. We climb, reach the top of the wall and fall back into enslavement again. We must continue to remind ourselves of the ways to deal with our feelings today. We can step out, look around and establish directions. This disease can be beat but it does not want us to know.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
in my experience as a recovering addict as well as sponsor/sponsee,,,
many emotional problems persist because we have no idea about the differance in feelings and thoughts !!!
I think as time goes by in recovery,,,theres also the clear understanding tah whenever I am disturbed,, theres something the matter with no,,,, however much I want to blame others,, its my r3esponsiblity to look at my own feelings and thoughts !!!
And my own actions preceding and after the incidents that cause pain and distress !!!
I know no other way to greater and Greater serenity and the rewards thereof !!!
God Bless you all in your recovery ,,, whereever you maybe !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
