I am just new to my quest for sobriety. I came here because i feel very alone and isolated. I really dont know what to do or where to start. How long does it take till your truly happy? Are you ever? that whole concept seems really hard to imagine. Anyways it helped to get somethings off my chest. hope to hear frome you all.
I came here because i feel very alone and isolated.
i too was feeling this way when i went looking. and found these guys at MIP.
I really dont know what to do or where to start.
You've already started Jenn, just by being here and wanting to stop.
stopping is always the first step. don't pick up!!!!!!
STEP 1 - "We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable."
To me it sounds like you've gotten to this step....
when i got here i felt just like you "alone and isolated.""scared and confused" and desperate!!!
I was desperate to change my life.. i hated it , i hated everything about it . the drugs, the people , the situations i found my in or a part of.. i felt like i was losing my mind, and soul.
STEP 2 - "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
This step for me, when i first got to NA, was the rooms and the people in them.
In the rooms i found other addicts who were staying clean and living life on life's terms, straight and sober. if they with there stories of using could stop then there was hope for me too.
there power and strength helped me to get the strength to keep trying. JUST FOR TODAY!
NA is a group of we, not i,
you are not alone!
there are others here that can help us stay clean.
we love you until you learn to love yourself.
i felt very unloveable when i got here..i'm feeling better about myself.
it's not been all easy , i've had ups and downs in the last 5 months , but going to meetings and lessoning to others share helped me get out of my low times. and they are getting less and lasting not so long ...
and yes i've had many days of happiness since i've stopped using...
thanks for lessoning i hope this helps a bit...talk to you soon....all you have to do is one day at a time...jenn. hope to hear from you soon......peggy
One of the worst feelings I get is that I am all alone out here in the world. Over a three and a half year journey, I have made real friends, managed to screw up a number of things, and not pick up any drugs. I have also started to see what drove me to using in the first place, and it is only through the constant practice of the 12 steps and a God that is looking out for my best interest that I have the opportunity to find the sense of peace I have been looking for my whole life.
Looking back in reflection, I have no regrets in my clean time. I have made lots of mistakes, trounced over other people's feelings, had my heart stomped on a few times, and throughout all of this, I am being molded into the man god wants me to be. I am no longer alone. I have people in my life that really care, and they aren't female. I am slowly picking up spiritual principles that take me further away from that lonely self pitying space I lived in for so many years. I actually trust a few people, and I am learning to trust God.
So, all that being said, welcome home. Here is where you put down all the bullshit and find out who you really are. You'll find friendship and love, peace and serenity, and a family beyond your wildest dreams.
Stick around a while, from what I hear, there's this cat named John in here that grows on ya.
__________________
Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
DEFINETLY you can have happiness in sobriety, I just spent a few days in the mountains, went fishing,ate good food, spent time with a new girlfriend had wonderful sex LOL and relaxed from the stress's of work and my head, it was great!
Sobriety doesn't have to be boring and glum you make it what it is, it's your gift to do with it what you like, you and only you can make life miserable and when it is find the good in that misery because it is their...then change it whats going wrong before you become TOO MISERABLE to even stay sober, the mistake I made was staying in the misery and I relasped thats not going to happen again and its all up to me.
Thanks for your word of wisdom. Right now thats how i feel. Like I'm wallowoing in my own misery. I know realistically ihave alot to be grateful for. But for some reason its not enough. Its not that drugs were the answer but i dont know what is. I dont even no how to live life straight. I havent socialized sober in probably 15 yrs. When does the lonliness end. When do I start to fell "normal". i know it hasnt been long for me and maybe i need more patience. I dont even have a hobby except for drinking and drugging. Im trying to figure out who i am but most of what i see i dont like. All the lies and deciet. Its not who i really am but its who i have become. Well thanks again for all your kind words and i guess today is a good day because im still sober and im still here.
One of my Aunts told me that every word that came out of my mouth was a lie, it's one of the things that really drove me to trying to get sober because I hated that aspect about myself, so , I worked on it, everyday I told myself to be honest and when I wanted to lie I stopped myself and believe me it took work and still does, it's just our nature to lie.
One step at a time, one day at a time, one thing at a time it gets better and so does life try not to handle it all at once just stay sober today and you've done a damn good thing with your life this day Jenn...
almost bed time another day without using. Sometimes i have so much energy idont know what to do with it. And sometimes i feel so drained its hard just to get from bed. One minute Im so happy I'm doing this the next scared as hell. I've tried AA meetings but my problems go way behond just alchol and where i went everyone was about 30 yrs older than me. I had trouble relating. i know i need a meeting to go to just to get me out of my house. Just to start living again. Its hard, its going to be harder payday so ive vowed to go to a meeting that day. Otherwise i'll get myself right back to that web of drugs. Let me know if anyone relates.
Looks like alot of people are pulling for you in here. I was told when I first started that when the drugs were taken away all I had left was this great big old hole like a vaccuum. That hole kept wanting to be filled up with anything, cigarettes, coffee, sex, food..... all to the extreme, just like my drug use. The good news came when I found out I wasn't the only one that felt that way. That doesn't mean I wasn't miserable at the time, it DID mean that I wasn't the only one that felt that way. If other people got through that, then I could too, and I did.
I wish I could tell you when all the good things happen, but I can't. It varies from person to person. I can say stick around and don't quit five minutes before the miracle occurs. You didn't get addicted in one day, and you aren't going to clean up and be happy joyous and free in one day either. As silly as it sounds, it is kind of like learning to play piano. No one sits down and plays a symphony the first time, it takes practice!
I can also say it is worth it. you worked really hard to get your drugs, now work really hard to stay clean. Meetings are a good start. Find people like you to talk to. DONT ISOLATE. I was told I am my own worst enemy, and boy is that true. I depend on a few others to help me make good choices, and God takes care of the rest.
If no one has told you yet, you are loved. We'll love you until you can love yourself!
Have a good day!
Brett
__________________
Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
hiya jen, you know the best thing about being new is that all of us have been there, you have joined a fellowship of people who will help you to stay clean, they will introduce you into a way of life that goes so far beyond just not using, i came to N.A cos i ahd nowhere else to go,i was tired of hurting and of hurting the people who i loved yet i couldnt stop using. I havent used for 2 and a half yrs, i was a hopeless case,family society friends had given up on me, then i walked into a room of total strangers who accepted me, and loved me back to life. I am an active member of NA who will be eternaly grateful. i have had some horrible days but some amazing experiances that no drug could ever give me,keep coming back,listen and live,it is an awsome thing NA, I welcome you with all my heart, Godbless.
Welcome home to Miracles In Progress. Wow, you seem to have such a powerful support system here, with so many of our kindred spirits around you, praying for you and trying to help you in all ways to stay clean and recover. Truly, you are a blessed soul
I agree that pain and suffering cannot be escaped from, being human, and fragile and vulnerable as such, addict or no addict. But one thing I have realized today in my recovery, with the help of the program, is that no matter what life might throw at me, on a daily basis, I don't have to use no matter what, and that pain might be mandatory, but misery optional.
Keep coming back, Jenn, and keep sharing with us. You don't have to bear it all alone, ever again. Together We Can!
Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
