I have this overwhelming urge to go 'visit' my dad but I know while I'm there I'll be stealing some of his pain pills-he already suspects it, but mom told him that I would never do that cause I know how much pain he is in, and I felt horrible when I heard that, and now I can't believe I'm thinking about it again!! Part of me keeps telling me I'll only take a couple this time, just to get through a few more hours, but it'll just prolong the getting clean. I wish it were 7pm so I could go to that meeting, IF I have the gas money, since I spent all of my money last week on drugs. That's another thing, do these meetings cost anything? I just have no money right now.
you have to fight those urges and use whatever means you have to do this.
Prayer works well for me most of the time, we are obsessive and compulsive some of us and this takes work, it's very difficult but try surrenedering whatever it is thats calling you, just try to let it go.
Start practicing it now this is part of the unmanageable aspect of your addiction, you know whats right now do it, and yes I know exactly how hard it is , the last time I got sober, the first year , I went thru it every single day, most of the time it went away with prayer and I never let it take hold of my thinking just so I wouldn't act on it sometimes I prayed for hours on end not to use one thing as far as prayer went was rebuking the spirit of my addiction the part of me that wanted to use wanted to hide and run from taking responsibility .
some tools to overcome cravings, urges and using thoughts:
Call a NA member.
Go to a meeting and share about it.
Use the Serenity Prayer.
Postpone the craving for every one hour, for another hour.
Eat something so that you are not hungry.
Think of the worst episodes due to using.
Think of the consequences after using.
Take a pen and paper and write what you are going thru.
Read Basic Text, especially the chapter "Recovery and Relapse"
Don't be alone.
Try some relaxation or deep breathing exercise.
Say, no matter what happens, I will not use Just For Today.
Try to occupy yourself in some work.
Don't allow yourself to be hungry, angry, lonely, tired or serious.
Avoid places, people and situations which may lead you to using.
Remember, First Drug Does The Damage.
Tell yourself "If I use, my life will remain unmanageable."
Surrender to your Higher Power and ask Him/Her to help you stay clean.
Just because our mind tells us to use, we don't have to use. WE HAVE A CHOICE!
DON'T USE, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
