IM a 38 year woman who just got out of treatment I was there for 98 days since I been out its been really hard with cravings but IM making it though. My History is ive been using drugs for 23 years. Ive Been to prison, I was clean from drugs for 2 years but I got to overwhelmed because I wasn't going to meetings my mind set was to get my children back and get our life back together. but it all got caught up with me. In that time I was lucky enough to meet this wonderful man whom IM married to but he couldn't stop me from getting back on that roller coaster that drugs leaded to. It had almost cost me my freedom again. i chose to go to treatment and its because i knew if i didn't i would probably end up back in jail. i put my children and husband through a lot of pain that they did not deserve but i guess that's what drugs does to us all but ive been lucky enough that my husband is still behind me and has been a great support system to me and my oldest daughter has been very inspiration to me a matter of fact when i graduated from treatment what she had said there was not a dry eye in the room and at that moment i knew that i have to think more about my children and myself and i will do my best to stay clean for my sake and theirs but it defiantly is not easy and i know i need to find some out side support. and that is the reason IM writing here. Thank YOU FOR LISTENING! and any contact would be extremely helpful.
Welcome and remember that you are not alone. I have had numerous using thoughts, feelings, but with the help of my program and NA friends, I have not had to go back out. As long as you share those using thoughts you are one step closer to staying clean. This is our disease trying to get us back out there and it will attack at various time and in various ways. Keep sharing with us and with your sponsor and NA family that is so important in this program. For me, I had to learn (the hard way) that I have to come first and that I have to be doing this for me. Putting myself first and working on myself has been extremely hard for me to accept and surrender to because I have spent my whole life trying to help/please others. Hang in there and definitely keep coming back and sharing with us.
Thank You For Sharing With Me.. That Sounds Alot Like My Self. Ive Spent My Whole Life Trying To Please Everyone Else And Of Coruse Nothin Was Ever Good Enough But Im Learning That Im Most Important And I Have To Put My Self, I Have To Take Care Of Me Before Any Body Else. Its Just Very Hard To Know What To Do With These Thoughts. Ecpecially When Everybody Keeps Askin Me Whats Wrong And i Dont Know What To Tell Them I Just Have To Keep Remembering ONE DAY AT A TIME
susie big pat on your back for what you've done so far just keep doing it. The first year was really hard for me, then it got easier then the 4th year it got INSANE up until I relapsed 2 weeks ago so it can be a roller coaster.
One thing I did and still do is PRAY, when that compulsion or thought comes into my head I stop what i'm doing or right where I am at and pray, first thing is I rebuke satan in the name of Jesus then I say the Lords prayer, if anything at all it STOP those other thoughts you can't have 2 thoughts going at the same time usually by the time i'm done praying the initial thought of using is past, if not I keep praying.
Don't give the though any power in others words don't feed it don't glorify using and bring back up the good feelings drugs brought you, we all know they do , they makes us feel euphoric and escape from reality but the outcome, the aftermathe is what destroys us because we abuse them, not just a social hit off the pipe or just one slam in our arms no we go till we drop or we're broke or run out of things to steal or end up locked up again, those are the things to remember, the BAD PARTS.
I feel like a hypocrit sometimes when I share but you know, I need to do this for myself if it helps others which I hope it does then all the better because when I was sober last time I was'nt much help to anyone and I feel compelled now to help others it keeps me the hell out of MYSELF and its not all about me but then it is as long as I am an aset to others I am important..
usually by the time i'm done praying the initial thought of using is past, if not I keep praying.
