Hi. I am spending some time with my son this week. He is visiting me while I am staying at a friends house. I just freaked out at him because I see him following in my footsteps. He is 25 years old, using alcohol regularly, doesn't pay his bills, always looking for an easy way out..... He is just like me. I guess it is hard to look in the mirror and see what I have helped to create. I wanted so much for him to be better than I am and now I feel like a failure. He is a good guy but I can see how much misery he will create in his life by running away all the time. I guess he doesn't have another example to follow. His father died when he was 15 (from alcoholism) and I am still struggling to stay clean. This is the hardest part. I pray that if only he could be protected that I would give up anything. Do anything. But is that true? Did I give up drugs? No. I feel like shit right now.
""Remember you little girls got her own Higher Power !!!'''
this was few years ago when i was worried about my baby(an NA baby) not getting enough care and attention from her mother (who ive since divorced,,,((NA marriage and NA divorce too ))
I pray and am willing to do anything required of me as a parent and NA ,member so my daughter will not become a user !!
As a parent i can only do that much,, like saying that i think its wrong,,, not holding myself responsible for anothers addiction and all,,
basically I think Nar Anon and Al anon will be right places to be in to hear the message regarding addiction in the family !!!
The gist of theri Program as Ive understood is
1.i did not cause it
2.i cannot control it
3. i cannot cure it !!!
God Bles you and God Bless you son into recovery,,, its never too early to recover !!!!
-- Edited by Raman at 07:32, 2006-07-16
-- Edited by Raman at 07:33, 2006-07-16
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Dear Kitten this is so ironic- im 46 and my oldest son is 25.i also have had to view addiction being ferreted down to my children.my son just called me and he's upset because he was out drinking last night,and he got into a verbal altercation with a guy,over my son's girlfriend,while my son had been drinking.no physical thing happened thank God,but his girlfriend has had an addict/co dependant relationship in the past,and now she is alarmed at my son's behavior and may break up with him.my son called upset,and in emotional pain.because i recentley in march,had a crisis that brought me back to twelve step meetings last march,i was genuine in explaining to him how meetings are the only thing that will help him to realize that this behavior will surface again and again,i know it was the best and only thing i could offer him,that i know would work,providing he has the willingness to explore it.its painful for me,also, to feel that i "passed"it down to my kids,but RAMAN has a good point.its not something we invented or can control.my 18 yr old daughter is a compulsive overeater,and my 16 yr old is addicted to pot.addiction is on both sides of thier parents families.its really hard.i hope they ll follow and see the strength i get from the twelve step program.thats one of the positive examples i CAN show them.i see other members occasionally bringing family members with them to meetings,and i admire them so much for sharing that with the people they care about.
