This may all seem silly when it comes to things like this. I have been married to a marijuana addict for 1 1/2 yrs. I knew he was when I married him. Thankfully I had several yrs of Alanon prior to meeting him because of a prior marriage. I thought I was doing ok until I got remarried and was faced with these struggles. Seems lately my depression has set in more and I spend more days crying off and on than doing anything. I am 63 and had to quit part time work 2 yrs ago due to health issues. Thats been really hard on me not getting out and working.
I know my husband loves me. He came from maybe both of his marriages that were dysfunctional. I know his last wife was an alcoholic. We've struggled with communication and sometimes its better. But then it can fall apart. I try to make it occasionally to my local meetings. Lately I found there were several options for phone and zoom meetings.
The 'silly' thing is today it is about toilet paper. He knows I have IBS and have bouts of my stomach being upset and when I buy my groceries I have to buy Charmin. I asked him to buy TP and he just bought something cheaper. I know to some this may seem trivial but to me its like why couldn't he do this little thing for me? I usually buy it myself but all I have is my Social Security check from my previous marriage. Today this has hit a nerve with me. It's not just about the TP its how much he cares about me and how much he will take care of me.
I left him a note by his computer that we will buy the TP separately from now on. Basically I am spending too much of the % of my income on my part of the bills when he is still working in sales and doing pretty well as far as I know. I don't know the specifics. So many of these things don't completely get resolved.
I did what I shouldn't have last week and checked the price of marijuana in our area and looked to see how much he had on hand and was shocked how much he spent. I know that's a big No, No. I won't look at his 'stash' again. I don't believe he will every quit. He is 66 and has used it since he was a teenager.
Thanks for listening. Glad to find this group. I feel so all alone at times.
