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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Help me understand! Please!
Post Info TOPIC: Help me understand! Please!
A


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Help me understand! Please!
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My Mother was a prescription drug addict for the past 15 years. She said she was in chronic pain but they could never find anything wrong with her. She was in and out of rehab about 5x. Everytime she went to rehab (physical therapy and weaning of medications) she did great. She would make such progress and she wouldn't be in pain. Then, she'd come home and be back at square one in a matter of weeks. She took 22 vicodin a day. She got off that and went to other prescription pain killers and the latest was 5 30g morphine pills a day, dilauded, Deragesic pain patches, Atavan, Valium and an anti-depressant. She was always very depressed and threatened suicide for the last 5-6 years.

She overdosed Sunday night...killled herself. She took 50 morphine pills, all her valium (at least 30) and every other pain pill or anxiety pill she had.

Do these drugs and being addicted cause people to kill themselves? Could she have done this just because of her addiction to these pills.

Help me understand.

Amy

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Alex


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Amy, I am so sorry about your mother... But i dont think you will ever understand unless youve been here.. This pain of addiction is hell..  The withdrwal is worse which I am on day 1 of (read my post below) ..

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alex
Raman


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dear dear Amy,,, please accept condolences from a stranger,,,,my name is Raman and Im a recovering addict !!!


Yes,,,no doubt,,, addiction and withdrawl distort rational thought !!!


Thats a very civil way of saying that all addicts are crazy in using !!!


Your mother most probably thought that life as she was living was hopeless and futile and was extremely depressed !!!


So she took that extreme step,,,,


May her soul rest in peace,,,, and may you find the strenght to cope !!!


And if i amy humbly add,, you are in no way responsible for her passing !!!


Remember that !!!


Families drain themselves in the addicts using time ,,, both financially and emotionally or either !!!


Thers also codependency issues to address for you i guess,,,,


I wish i,, a stranger could say or do something to relieve you of your pain,,,,


I fondly hope you have good memories of your mother tooo,,, those that you cna keep and cherish and remember her with love !!!!


Keep psoting,, or meet Naranons in your area,,,,surely you will recover too !!


bye for now


love and regards


Raman an addict in recovery in the 12 Step Tradition of NA !!!!



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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
westexaswife


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Amy, I am so sorry. I have no words for you.All i know is to pray for you, so if you don't mind. Dear God I lift up Amy and her family to you.  Only you have the power to heal this family. I ask you to bathe her heart in the balm of Gillead.  I ask you to surround Amy and her loved one with angels to keep them safe and minister to them at this time.  Please God open the eyes of her heart so that she can understand and recieve closure.  In Jesus Precious Name, Amen.

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shelly holt
Lon


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Amy,
I am so sorry for your loss.......
The chemicals that addicts use to get high are only a symptom of a greater spiritual disease...one that leaves us feeling like there is something missing from us, so we seek to fill the hole in our souls with other things. Drugs and alcohol are just some of the things people do to feel like they do not have this void. Some people have problems finding the faith that there is another way to live....unfortunate but true. We do recover, but we need to seek out recovery, and do the work that is rtequired of us to stay clean.

To an addict the word rehab includes mote than physical therapy and weaning off of whatever chemical is involved., We need to examine ourselves and our motivations for getting loaded...it is only through these measures that we find enough peace within ourselves to remain off of the chemicals and find a way to live happily in the real world.

In short, I believe there were deeper underlying reasons for your mothers death. Many people find recovery, but it does require consistant effort to remain in recovery from addiction, and the faith to believe that there is another way to live.

You have my deepest condolences for your loss,
Lon

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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
Lon


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Westtexas,
I understand and appreciate you compassion for Amy's loss. I am not trying togive offense in any way, but I need to remind you that NA is a program of a spiritual, not religious nature. NA takes this position because addicts need to identify with other addicts to recover, and controversial subjects such as religion tend to divide us, not to promote the unity we need to survive as a whole. I do understand your compassion, and I am only pointing this out because NA needs to be a place where people of all religious, or non-religious, beliefs can come together on common ground to seek recovery from addiction. NA is a place where people from all belief systems can come and feel welcomed....and denominational prayers do not promote that unity.

This is my understanding of how the NA program works....and it has worked this way around the world. There are 37,000 NA meetings per week around the world, and the NA program is the same for all of us.

Lon

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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
A


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Thank you to all the replied.  You have all helped me in one way or another.  The funeral is tomorrow.  Gosh, how I wish this nightmare was over.  Something tells me it will not be over for some time to come.  I'm newly sober (alcoholic - 3 weeks) and then this happens.  I see people all around me drowning their sorrows in alcohol.  I'm holding strong.  I know that I don't want to ever become dependent on something again.  Being dependent killed my Mom and made her life while she was here a living hell.


My best wishes to all of you...


Amy



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recovering jb


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Amy-

I am so sorry and I can't imagine what you are going through, but please do stay clean and sober, many people want to help you, and your life will be so much better, even if that seems impossible-

Keep posting, and don't give up, you are in my prayers-

Also, this website might be inspirational- http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php

You can download speakers to listen to, Earl H is good, and Sandy B, and there are women speakers too, and Al-Anon as well-

Take Care,
-Joel

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galeon


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i've been clean a long time and in recovery even longer, however i also have clinical depression  and it's not that far for me to go to a suicide place. last time i felt like that in a big way i was hospitalized for 3 wks. having a mental illness [depression] has a lot of stigma attached and being an addict as well is like walking the high wire without a net.  i have a 12 year old son but when i am in the very bad place i feel like he would be better off without such a bad mother, in other words i'm out of my mind, its the illness talking too me.  i cope with this with the help of a very good shrink [recovery dr.] and meds. i am 48 years old and have been in the program for 19 years and struggled lots. i know whats its like too feel utterly hopeless and even clean it is very difficult, truly one day at a time for me.she didn't mean to hurt you, the pain was just too much. i was lucky a friend came by and took me the hospital that day 2 years ago or i wouldn't be here. the program does  work no matter what. I am wishing you healing and recovery . go to meetings and reach out , there is a higher power at work and you will see it. lots of love cindy

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just for today
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