Hello all! I am new to this forum. I just got out of White Deer Run in central PA. I'll have 5 months April 26th!! I am 26 years old from PA. My drug of choice most recently was Heroin. I have a four year old daughter, Mary. I started touring with the bands; Phish,The Other Ones,The Dead(-n-all the bands they formed) at age 16. I started using at 15 and gradually progressed to heroin/cocaine addiction. I am glad to be clean today and I thank GOD for NA and the fellowship it provides. I know the only way I can stay clean is through NA/AA. Nice to be here Y'all!!!
welcome! i know theres a few other musicians on this site. they will i am sure have words of wisdom for you, cause i know there is some special challenges for musicians to stay clean. together we can!!!!
I play sax and do a lot of leading,,,, basically in corporates and hotels,, and afew shows now and then,,,,
My drugs of choice were ,,smack,grass, alcohol !!!
i stay as far as possible from open air shows as that means lots of em there smoking pot and other stuff !!!
and once they begin to groove to my music,, after that they want me to hang out with them !!
Even the smell can affect me,,
so im careful !!!
Had a few close shaves and am wary now !!!
But let me say how i had to stop playing music for a long time in recovery ,,,,,counsellors advice !!!
change of addictve playgrounds and playmates !!!
But how can someone who loved music and that vibe evr stay stopped form music very long ????
so, ?, i was lucky to have had sponsors who encouraged me to get bak in there and do my thing,, however they ,,, in turn,, as i moved from one sponsor to another due to various reasons,,,
insisted that i have a good Program runnning first,,, that meant working the Steps first !!!
It took me a painful few years to do so !!
But now that Ive been back in the scene for nigh on 7 years clean and had some success,,and and having stayed clean and having lost the desire to use,,,
i can truly say this is the payoff,,,,
The Steps are the solutions and truly ive found a new way of life,,
Im a not a music star, im not a celeb,,, but in my city many know of me and my music,,my earinings are far more than i ever thought id earn,,,my self esteem is well and healthy,,, and my playing and my percepts of music are getting better each day,,,,,
I get to play many events in a week,, but right now im coolling off from a stoones/gallbladder problem,, however im still doing shows involving me playing keyboards and will ahev to wait till the 15th of May of so fore i can blow my beloved sax again !!!!
But like it says in the TEXT=
STAYING CLEAN COMES FIRST IN NA !!!!
I welcome you and hope you can feel the love of one addict for another,, the caring of one NA for another and the Great Vibe of one musician for another !!!
Live to love and love to live the NA way !!!
Keep Coming back,,, it works !!!
-- Edited by Raman at 14:14, 2006-04-22
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Welcome Home Mike! Glad you found Miracles in Progress, truely we all are...a miracle that is happening, right now! Life does get better, when we learn to let go and let HP make it better for us. It can be tough to let others into our lives after years of holding ourselves apart from others in order to feel "safe". It is only through the theraputic value of one addict helping another that we can find a new way to live.
Keep coming back- the steps change our lives when we learn to live them!
Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
Thanks guys!!! I have made drastic changes in my life reagrding friends and surroundings. Lotta changes.But, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Appreciate the friendliness. Wish y'all well.
I had to avoid concerts too for a while early in recovery as they were a big part of my addiction, but as a result of working a program I eventually got to a point where I took the risk and started going again. One thing I did do when I started back to concerts was go with other recovering ppl. Luckily I had formed a solid friendship with my sponsor and other women in the program that had some time, they were the ones I went with. If I had started back with other newcomers there's no telling what mischief we would have got up to.
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Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs.
a psychological adage i once picked up in my readings=
in recovery we learn to cautiously include and not fearfully exclude people into our lives !!!!
You know ???
the brighest part of a concert is to see some of our NA friends in the audience !!!
that, other than playing my best ,, makes my day,,,,,
in addition to saying clean and quite serene in many ups and downs in my recovery of 18 odd years( HPs credit entirely !!!!),,, im really greatful no end that i didnt have to wait any longer than I had to to get back into music !~!!!!
Im really delighted to know that you all are doing it much earlier,,,,
i had to wait nigh on 10 long years,,,,,and though abscence makes the heart grow fonder,,,, i could just as easily have given up on music and instead become a manager or businessman etc !!!
I remember that day when a sax came back into my life=
i was into trading antiques and collectibles,,
one day i went to a known persons music shop and i saw he had a lovely looking tenor sax !!!
I asked him and blew it and lo and behold,,, i knew exactly what i was missing in my recovery,,, so i bought that sax !!!
then i practiced real hard for 6 months or so,, relearning my scales and listening to music and writing articles on concerts and personalities for a weekly newspaper,,, run by a famous jazz singer !!
Then ,, through coincidences and strange connections(HP at work )
i came into contact with a guitarist who id known in the past .
He was making it big here and by chance we met and i joined his jazz rock band !!!
We had many good show and lit this city up,,, then i decided to go on my own !!!
Is been a good scene ever since,,,,although some bad trips do come up,,, even though clean,, i lose my serenity at times and till i pray and meditate again,, imm lost !!!
God Bless you all,,, get in ther and do it,,,
remember it says in the TEXT=
JUST FOR TODAY MY THOUGHTS WILL BE ON MY RECOVERY,LIVING AND ENJOYING LIFE WITHOUT THE USE OF DRUGS !!!!
(gee was i ecstasic when Bryan Adams wrote my name in his autograph after a concertwhen i got to meet him face to face at the hotel he was staying and got to eat the same veganfood he ate!!!!
Obviously,,, this is now a treasured possession !!!)
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
