Hello my name is Danielle and this is my first time here.I have been doing drugs since the age of twelve,i went from one drug to another.My drug of choice is crack cocaine and i have been clean for 48 days now and some days it gets really hard for me.I am a very impulsive person and a creature of habit, i really want to stay clean!! I not only have keep clean but everything i've ever known and everyone who has been in my life is gone.I know that's how it has to be in order for me to stay alive.I have really got myself into a serious problem with the law, i just don't feel i can do this at times i just want to hit the door. I can't do this alone!! Thankyou for listening, Sincerely, Danielle
Danielle, I am glad you found your way to Narcotics Anonymous and that you found us here. Welcome home!You are more right than you understand saying that you cannot do this alone. The very essence of this program is accepting that we are powerless over our addiction. After keeping ourselves emotionally and spiritually isolated for so long it is tough to let people into our lives, let alone letting people know what is going on inside our head.
I will be eternally grateful for the people who came into recovery before me, who were willing to share their experience, strength and hope with a complete stranger when I came into their lives. I took me a long time to understand that these people loved me, as flawed as I am, without expecting anything from me. They gave me hugs and told me to keep coming back. Eventually because of their selfless love I began to want what they had and I began to walk the path with them.
Go to meetings, go to coffee after metings, call other addicts in recovery, find and use a sponsor, work the steps and live the NA program. Do not fear change, because change is your friend. It will be uncomfortable at times, but better things will follow if you do your part.
Congratulations on 48 days! You can stay clean and keep recovering, just remember to ask for help, even when you don't think you need help.
Lon
-- Edited by Lon at 23:26, 2006-04-12
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
