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Post Info TOPIC: Dating someone new in recovery


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Date:
Dating someone new in recovery


hi, i know this might not be something you're really supposed to post on here,

but i'm not sure who to talk to about it. 

I recently started dating someone who is new to recovery... only about 4 months. 

It has been going really well and we have been together for two of those months. 

I knew going into it that he wasn't supposed to be dating and we have both talked about it since then.

He focuses a lot on his meetings and his recovery and I support him 100% even if that means not spending time or talking to me for awhile.

 

However, I'm not 100% sober. I do smoke weed, even though I haven't since we have been together.

I do plan to very soon in the future, I'm actually quite a pot head, which is something we had also discussed before dating. 

 

I guess my question is...

How do i continue to support his recovery without potentially harming it also with my marijuana use? 

Is it possible? 

 



-- Edited by babygirl on Friday 11th of January 2019 05:37:35 PM

__________________


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

It is possible.

Mix up a good combination of Marijuana Anonymous and SLAA. ma-online.org and slaauk.org/meeting-list/online-skype-meetings/

Get to an online meeting just for today; go from there.
Deeper than expert knowledge and guidance.
Regardless of what another human may be able to tell you or shape you into thinking; real guidance and that by a channel to something greater that go about the situation as per programme (which is not necessarily that the relationship is wrong).

No meed to be a member to go by and learn from what pops up. Everything is connected; doing that optimally occuring unlock the both of you to be of greater service (not solely to fellowship) also not causing unnecessary hardship of recovery and the staying sober of others (unlikely anyone would know source, however giving the power greater a chance to improve the situation; a step in direction of God).

__________________

Living looking in surplus by

  • Legal drugs not resolving issues
  • Suits made and maintained by sacrificing beings (sheepskin, unfairly paid labor - dirty backend)
  • Wax in hair rather than like healthy diet

= burdens not a problem?



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 693
Date:

Thanks for posting baby girl. I hope you at least stick around long enough to read this.

I smoked it everyday for 39 years. MJ wasn't the problem, I was. It took me forever to realize this. It wasn't until I finally stopped that it dawned on me that I have problems...and it wasn't the drugs.

I have no idea what you should do. We suggest those coming into the program don't do anything drastic for 1 yr. What happens is that instead of focusing on our recovery...we start focusing our attentions on seeking the attention of a lover who's affirmation is all we need to make everything right....In other words we stop working on ourselves.

But I'm not your age, and I wouldn't dare tell someone they should deprive themselves from being with someone as special as you are. So for no try not to use around him. If you can't....then maybe you need to come back into the rooms. I hope it works for you.



__________________
Dave
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