Hi JJ,, here's some pre-congratulations on your upcoming one year of living clean and strong! I feel the pressure you're expressing here,, there's something about the 1 Year milestone that a lot would agree feels like a pressure cooker. Is it that as we fumble around in early recovery, to actually make it to such a milestone really tests our resolve, especially when we realize ....it's just another day,, ,the goal that seemed so distant just becomes another starting point? And to realize there certainly won't be a celebration in the manner of our 'old' ways of doing things!? Probably all of these and more,,, as they were for me.
      .....The addict psyche works in strange ways, as I'm sure you know,,, always plotting, working a new angle to 'blindside' the unwitting addict... making us feel extra awkward when we share, struggling in social scene,,, ALL of that and more...... but I'm sure, if you've made it this far, you're aware of this,,, and you're taking the .... right next step,, reaching out, going to meetings, calling friends in the program,, all the right stuff!

        Now you CAN congratulate yourself on your upcoming milestone,, see that you HAVE made it through MANY trials to get this far,, realize that you can and are doing the right thing. Hope, Faith, Trust in the program AND yourself,, KNOW that you will continue to do the right thing,,,take a few good deeeeeep breathes,let your thought pass by for a while(mindfulness meditation),, give someone a call!

Enjoy your new beginning,,everyday is a new beginning!   <;~}
All the best!   M