I go to about 4-5 meetings a week and currently have 26 days clean from all mood and mind altering substances. I'm working on getting a sponsor but I have a deep fear to share or contribute on any topic during a meeting. I identify with almost everything that people share about but when it comes time to raise my hand mind goes blank and then starts running. My last tesla par was a direct result of me not sharing with the group and not having a sponsor. I isolate a lot and have taken down some numbers so I can call people but I have a lot of mental blocks that prevent me from sharing with the group. I feel that if I don't action my recovery will stagnate and I will eventually stop coming to meetings. Does anyone have any experience with overcoming this? Is this normal? I feel like it may stem from my dad always shutting me down and not allowing me to express myself but I also don't want to blame it solely on him because it's deeper then that.
HELLO and Welcome to MIP I am an addict named Mike
This reading I remember many cups of coffee ago,helped me out early on my daily Journey.The message says it all..Hope to hear more from you.
Something Valuable To Share
"A simple, honest message of recovery from addiction rings true."
You're in a meeting. The sharing has been going on for some time. One or two members have described their spiritual experiences in an especially meaningful way. Another has had us all rolling in the aisles with entertaining stories. And then the leader calls on you.., gulp. You shyly introduce yourself, apologetically stammer out a few lines, thank everyone for listening, and sit out the rest of the meeting in embarrassed silence. Sound familiar? Well, you're not alone.
We've all had times when we've felt that what we had to share wasn't spiritual enough, wasn't entertaining enough, wasn't something enough. But sharing is not a competitive sport. The meat of our meetings is identification and experience, something all of us have in abundance. When we share from our hearts the truth of our experience, other addicts feel they can trust us because they know we're just like them. When we simply share what's been effective in our lives, we can be sure that our message will be helpful to others.
Our sharing doesn't have to be either fancy or funny to ring true. Every addict working an honest program that brings meaningful recovery has something of immense value to share, something no one else can give: his or her own experience.
Just for today: I have something valuable to share. I will attend a meeting today and share my experience in recovery from addiction.
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome. Having difficulty sharing in meetings is normal. It wasn't a problem for me, but I have known many people who have had this problem. I suggest you give it some time. Keep coming to meetings, start talking to people one-on-one (such as your sponsor) and you will become more comfortable sharing in the group. The most important this to do in early recovery is listen.
Thanks for the messages guys. Today I hit 30 days clean but I effin relapsed. I used. I lifted stone all day to help my old man build his second home. I came back and fell asleep and felt like using. I gave in. I used. I feel vey ARGH! right now. Aff.
You can do it, just don't use today. And don't beat yourself up for yesterday.
It'd be a very good idea to go to a meeting and report on yourself. People need to know that you should come back even if you relapse
...'27',,, thanks for dropping by here. Youve done a great service to remind me why it's great to make some time.
All those challenges of early days will be just a memory for you too,, so long as you allow for your humanness,,, add the days together,one at a time,,, and listen to a higher voice of guidance.
Speaking to a group is a challenge for many, myself included. I haven't really gotten over being self conscious about what I say,, but with time, I've seen many have a similar challenge, and there's rarely anyone who's taking stock or judging what others say.
It helps to speak of this challenge, even if it's all you share, you'll feel better for it.
Remember to breathe. Deep. <;~}
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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
"...when it comes time to raise my hand mind goes blank..."
Check it out - it's cool for your to be your own best friend. You just have to learn what that looks like. It's completely acceptable for you to take note cards to a meeting and read from them when you want to speak. If you do that, you might be surprised at the number of people who approach you later and concede that they wish they'd thought of something like that.
"Does anyone have any experience with overcoming this?"
I do. I used note cards.
"Hi everyone. I'm going to use note cards to help me stay on track here because I really want to speak and I'm also terrified. So here I go. Yada yada yada. Thanks for letting me share."
