i just went through rehab for my first time for heroin. i was using for 2 years but never used a needle. i was in for my first one for 28 days and then got kicked out and sent down to a florida rehab and was there for 30 days. i then intentionally relapsed to prove the point that i shouldn't be in florida and it was not good for me. so of course i got kicked out of my halfway and put into a 2 week "stabilzation" i finally got to come back to jersey after being in florida unsuccessfully for 4 months and by that i don't mean using i mean unable to find work and be a funx member of society
i should state that i have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i was prescribed xanax which if you give to any person in the world it is scientifically proven that the body starts to depend on it - that is why you build a tolerance and have to keep increasing your dose. needless to say i got physically addicted to it and had to go thro a detox and IOP.
not to war story but just to emphasize my point. i have used pretty much used every drug out there. never had a problem. could drink and smoke weed recreationally and was fine. dabbled in other things - was fine.
until i tried heroin. i admit i did become a HEROIN ADDICT. however. it was just because I started to physically need it to not be sick and to feel okay. just like any person "addict" or a "normie" would feel. you have anyone start to play around with heroin they are going to get addicted to it. it's going to happen.
now that i've been clean from heroin for 100 something days i don't want it at all. i don't think about it i don't crave it. nothing. and it bothers me how my therapist who is a drug counselor keeps pushing NA and AA and get a sponsor get a network donthe steps all this bullshit. it's like i feel like someone is trying to push medication on me for symptoms that i don't have!! like i always hear in meeting that "oh if you have a drink you'll be right out on the streets looking for dope again" no. i have had a drink here and there since being clean from heroin and i'm fine.
in fact i'm more successful then ever. i have an amazing job. i'm getting all my finances and everything in line. i'm on a good combo of meds for my depression and anxiety (zoloft wellbutrin and neurontin) and i feel great.
im sorry but i don't want to go through all the NA/AA bullshit when i don't need it. it just feels like it's holding me back.
i dont know. rant over. please don't rag on me. comments/opinions would be appreciated.
NA is a Fellowship of attraction not promotion. You are an addict when you say you are. End of story. Good luck in your future endeavors. We'll still be here if you need NA in the future.
__________________
Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
but what i'm getting at i guess is that is it possible that i am just a heroin addict bc i'm confused by the fact that i never had a problem with anything else. do u get what i'm sayin? i'm just confused i don't get why one and not the rest.
im not trying to put NA down i enjoy going to meetings once in a while. i just don't want to devote my life to NA like i devoted it to heroin. i just want to be able to live.
Like Mike said, only you can say whether you are an addict.
The only way to know is to try using drugs and see what happens.
Maybe you can use other drugs besides heroin successfully.
I tried to control my drug use but it never worked for me.
Maybe it will work for you.
If it does, good luck to you.
In my experience, NA is not at all a burden: it has given me my life back.
and i'm so glad for the people it helps i am. and i'm not even saying that i do want to use lther drugs. i'm just saying i feel like i already have my life back and at this point trying to na just takes away from me living
I have done the same as you but it ended with myself back in a Florida rehab voluntarily. I got into the study this time of what this shit does to our brain. I know what it does to friends an family. I don't work steps, I do go to meeting when I am craving or to talk with my fellow addicts but I stay away from what got me where I am at today and that is alcohol and using. No soapbox here. I'm an addict and know that shit finally. You are your own boss. You know the answer but not sure what your saying? Follow your heart.
see i'm fine with going to meetings when I FEEL like i need them. but my therapist is trying to make me go everyday. and my parents are drinking the koolaid of my therapist and going along with what he says. it's just like i feel like this shouldn't be forced on me i need to do it myself
Your therapist nor your parents can make you a member of our program. You only are when you say you are. And once you do, then it's suggestions from your sponsor that you should listen to.
I've heard many tell your story. We aren't just about losing the desire to use. It's about a new way to live. If you find yourself at wits end, if you get so desperate that you don't know what to do, then and only then, you'll be ready.
The program recommends a meeting a day for the first 90 days of recovery.
Regular meeting attendance can provide us with support, help us to meet people, find a sponsor and a home group (i.e. a meeting we commit to), get involved, learn about the program, and so on.
After the first 90 days, many people cut back on meetings but still go regularly.
I have been going to about 2 meetings a week for quite a long time and this seems to work for me.
Sometimes I go to more if I need to.
I say that you decide what you need unless your living under someone else's roof and rules then for the time being you should respect them.
In time you'll know about your ability to stay away from the heroine, maybe you just needed to be stabilized and you are now with the psych meds and have no need to be medicated with heroine. Meetings aren't the program the program is the 12 steps , the meetings are support group and a place to share your experience with other new comers, its also a social club LOL for many but its a place where people relate to each other very well.
