Dear fellow recovering people in Miracles In Progress:

My name is Raman and I am an addict.

I wish to share that on the 21 st of December, I completed 29 years of continous clean time.  Staying clean and serene on a daily basis has been possible because of the 12 Step Program of Narcotics Anonymous. I also attend A.A. meetings am greatful to all recovering people for being there.

I thank dear Mic for guiding me in my recovery.

I thank God as the Force that keeps me clean and serene. I thank God for taking my will and my life.

And I thank everyone in the 12 Step Tradition for showing me how to live and enjoy life without the use of drugs and without being in the defect.

And hey, wow, Wow Christmas is here again.

If I were still a kid and Santa asked what gift I wanted, then without a thought I will say

"Clean and, and, and serene".

Sounds strange right ?

Like, why will a kid ask to be clean ?

Kids do not use drugs, do they ?

Well actually, in my case, my life was very unmanageable even before I used. That is why I believe that the statement in the Basic Text that says " many of is believed that our addiction was present long before we used" is totally true in my case.

I had a strange life. I was either very unmanageable by day and slept very well at night or if I was manageable by day, then I had a terrible night. My unmanageable days were marked with anger, resentments and fear. My unmanageable night meant all kinds of sleep disorders, including nightmares, shouting in my sleep, sleepwalking and being shocked into wakefulness thinking there was someone in the room or some spirit was haunting it.

I never had a normal growing up experience like many other kids. Therfore I never had any real ambitions. To add to this, my family, teachers, schoolmates and few friends I had gave me much scope to feel guilty. Mu h worse is how that unresolved guilt grew into shame. That shame never allowed me to take part in daily life. I was too asamed to try. I missed out on swimming events though a very good swimmer. I missed out on school cricket team trials though a good fast bowler. I did not try for cycling though I was a good long distance cycler.

Though at home I was invested with the Holy Thread, I discontinued the Daily Practice because I did not think I qas worthy of Grace. At school, I could feel a Distinctly Holy Prescence at our lovely St. Peters Chapel, but did not ask That Power for any Blessin gs.

So when school got over, I became a loafer. I moved with drinking, grassing people. And the more I got into music, the more these people became my companions.

I really was set up for addiction. And I got addicted. The next 11 years of my life was one long party.

In this tome I used many kinds of drugs, drank many kinds of alcohol, met many types of people got into many types of problems and crisis.

Then luckily for me, 29 Christmases ago, I got the gift of recovery. I still wonder how I got so willing to try this New Way of Life at the peak of the party season ?

I can only attribute it as The Gift of all Gifts.

I try and utilize the 12 Step Program Gift in my daily life in all areas of my life. I believe I have found a New Way to Live.

God Bless you all and a very merry Christmas to you, you and you !