HI all, I'm am addict with almost 1.5 years of recovery under my belt, im a first timer so I have no idea what I'm doing. I have nobody to go to for answers, so after a brief Google search I found this site. I hope I'm posting in the right forum for this question, but here goes.
So I've had my sponsor for most of my team in recovery, over a year. He has quite a bit of time himself, 30 years to be exact, which is great! But, he's really rough on me, he has promised me that I will relapse just because of 1 specific meeting I go to on a weekly basis. He told me my first step was sloppy, I should also add that after going over my first step with him I asked if it was ok, and he said yes, so telling me it was sloppy 2 weeks later is kind of a low blow. He called me a spoiled brat because I still live at home with my mother. He told me he would drop me as a sponsee but he knows I wouldn't find another sponsor (Not true). Let me add that I chair my homegroup, talk to newcomers and make them feel welcome, go to 5-6 meetings a week, and am constantly looking for work. I have told my sponsor that yelling at me, telling me quite literally to "F*** OFF", and putting me down (in front of homegroup members and newcomers by the way) that j don't respond well to these things! So therein lies my question, WHAT DO I DO?! Everytime I come in contact with my sponsor I feel worse about myself. We never have a polite conversation. So I guess it might be an obvious answer but I am really struggling with this. I even asked him, "aren't we supposed to listen to the message and not the messenger?" And he replies, "NO!"
What do I do?! Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated!
That sounds real simple to me, time to find one that's a better match! There is no shame or stigmatism to moving onto another sponsor. If it were me, I'd wait till I found a new one, then let him know I was moving on. But keep in mind, there may have been some truth in some of what he said. Thank him for all of his effort
Thanks I really appreciate the input. Parts of what he was saying are quite indeed correct about me, my problem is with how he said it. Constantly putting me down in front of newcomers and homegroup members is not cool, they are the most important person at any meeting and that may give someone a bad impression of what sponsorship is. Again, I really appreciate the input and I will stick around here and try to give back what was so freely given to me.
