Pat,
If you can find a group of people who, as a whole, are more loving and non-judgmental I want to know who they are.

I remember going to my first meeting, scared to death of what and who I would find there. I got all dressed up in khakis, dress shirt and a sweater, because I didn't want to make a bad impression on a room full of drug addicts! I still grin every time I think of that 8-). What NA consists of is a group of recovering addicts helping each other to find a new way to live, without the use of drugs. There is a reading we read at the start of a meeing called "What is the Narcotics Anonymous Program" the text of it follows:

"What is the Narcotics Anonymous program?
NA is a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs. There is only one requirement for membership, the desire to stop using. We suggest that you keep an open mind and give yourself a break. Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. The most important thing about them is that they work.

There are no strings attached to NA. We are not affiliated with any other organizations. Wehave no initiation fees or dues, no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone. We are not connected with any political, religious, or law enforcement groups, and are under no surveillance at any time. Anyone may join us, regardless of age, race, sexual identity, creed,religion, or lack of religion.

We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, whatyou have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help. The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. We have learned from ourgroup experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean."

It is possible to live life without drugs, I used for more than 20 years, now I am more than 10 years clean. More importantly, working the steps thoroughly, over and over, I am now happier than anytime of my life that I can remember, including my life before I started using. We do learn a new way to live, and we only take it one day at a time!

The first part of a meeting usually is the above reading + 4 more . Some meetings also read from the daily meditation book, "Just for Today." Then the meeting itself starts. Depending on the format, it may go several different ways. Most common is a discussion meeting, where the people in the room share what is going on in their lives, and share their experience, strength, and hope with each other. There are also speaker meetings, where one or two adicts will spend the meeting talking about their lives, sharing what and how the 12 steps have helped them. Also, there are step-work meetings- where the members concentrate on a particular step, (and some times the traditions too.)

Don't be shocked if you get a hug, while it may take a while to open up to the idea of hugging, it helps to break down the walls, mental and emotional, we addicts tend to erect to protect ourselves.

I remember when I was forced to clean up. I remember laying on the sofa crying, thinking that their was no way for me to live without the only source of comfort I could rely on. There is life after drugs, and I am greatful to have found NA, it's the first place I can ever remember feeling like I belonged; it is like a whole new family, who care about me because of who I am, flaws and all.

All recovery is a leap of faith, and there are many of us on the other side of the canyon you are looking at; holding out our hands to help you across.

Lon