Raman, I know that what I need to do is to put them into perspective. Just how important is it for me to carry this around, giving myself a place to spend emotional energy best spent elsewhere. The church right down the street from the church my home group is in has an electronic marquee sigh out front. A couple of years ago I read it (as I always do) on the way to my homegroup. "Resentments mean that you are hurting yourself, in the hope that someone else will feel the pain." MAN did that hit home!
I know that I am addicted to chaos too, when my world is spinning faster than usual I have something to think about that keeps my brain entertained in a sick, twisted manner. All in all catching myself and then asking what my motivation is for my behavior does much to slow down the world and take a look at myself, which is where my attention needs to be focused.
It's easy to say "Let go and let God." Practice of that principle takes a lot more than just repeating that phrase over and over.
Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
resentment is an on going kind of thing with me, i have to remind myself that when i am feeling resentful part of it is because i expect people to behave by my standards. thats trouble right now cause it means im in judgement which means a lack of humility also if someone hurts me or someone else there are always options on how to respond as opposed to react. step eleven is good here for obvious reasons.
