Narcotics Anonymous

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Post Info TOPIC: Brand New! Any old timers/familiar recoverers feedbacks welcome


Newbie

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Posts: 1
Date:
Brand New! Any old timers/familiar recoverers feedbacks welcome


So, my husband was in denial awhile, I just patiently told him a program, looking into it, with me, wouldnt hurt. 2 weeks later his denial went away, so we began! 

Ive given him some tasks (as I am 2 yrs sober) ad he's doing quite well, hes worked the 1st few steps almost without knowing (Happens often) 

 I give him small things i think thatll open his eyes and he can relate too IE: Big book paragraphs/chapters. I am currently working on the promises with him!

Hes to aquire a sponser now, (meetings this weekend!) and a support group, a home group, get cozy Ill be right with him thru it all til he wishes to tackle meetings his own way!
I just love him tooo much and want hm  to really get the most out of this amazing program, and stick to it. ANy good suggestions or tips on othr little things i can do with him thatll help open him to the world of NA welcomed! We do morning meditation now and discuss how we relate to it if we do!

Each night we spend up to 1-3 hours (Sometimes in between breaks) on the big book, steps, and practice inventories Even having him soon try writing his own personlized view of the promises as we go thru them. 

Thanks yall! 



__________________
A.J


Guru

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Posts: 721
Date:

You may want to look into Naranon. He needs to work his program not be carried by you. Much of what you say reminds me more of the relationship between sponsor and sponsee than significant other. Fine line between supporting and carrying may be tough to find in an existing relationship!

And be careful not to loose sight/focus of your Recovery program.

__________________
Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :)
Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA


Guru

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Posts: 4106
Date:

I agree with what Mike said.
He has to work his own program; you can't work it for him.
He has to want recover for himself.
You can work your own program.

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Guru

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Posts: 2701
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Good morning and welcome to MIP!    i WOULD ALSO SUGGEST  NAR-ANON.............................FIND A MEETING NEAR YOU.....http://naranon.org/            

Nar-Anon Family Groups

www.nar-anon.org/                       In support and Prayer.............smile

 
NarAnon
 


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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 



Guru

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Posts: 1472
Date:

You both need to work your own program.

__________________
H.O.W.


Senior Member

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Posts: 172
Date:

When I first got into recovery, my significant other begrudgingly came along, as it was told to him that a relationship wouldn't work unless both of us were doing the thing. I remember being in a similar situation, wanting so desperately for the other one to catch on, get tuned in, have the best recovery experience ever. In the meanwhile, I lost track of what was most important: my recovery!

While it's a noble idea, to carry ones significant other into recovery, it's not a reality for personal recovery. Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink: so it goes with recovery. You can beat em, smack em over the head with a 2x4 (or the 12x12), belittle them for not going to meetings, take their hand and bring them to their sponsors house (and tell their sponsor how shitty they've been), have sex with them in compensation for working steps... But all that does is cause resentment and a bad taste in everyones mouth at the end of the day, not to mention all kinds of amends that will need to be made in the future!

It took me a while to understand that I needed to have my own program, my own friends, my own sponsor, my own meetings... in order for me to grow. BOUNDARIES ARE A MUST FOR COUPLES IN RECOVERY!!!

Aside from all of that, the best course of action is to lead by example and encourage them to do what is best for them. Let their sponsor help them find that... Remember the best thing was can do is to carry the message, not the addict.

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~Clean & Serene since 4/16/2007~
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