I am new to NA - the problem, the process, the whole thing. My husband of 4 years had told me about his addiction and recovery that occurred 11+ years ago - and besides him, I have never had anyone in AA or NA in my daily life. He had a relapse in January of this year while he was out of town visiting a friend - he told me about it immediately and started with NA meetings as soon as he got home. I appreciate his honesty and dedication to getting back on track.
What I am struggling with is his support system - the sister of one of his fellow NA/AA members, who is not in the program, seems to be a focal point in his communication and who he confides in. To the point that I am seeing/feeling warning signs that things are crossing a line. Is this behavior normal as part of the recovery process? I don't want to add stress/pressure while he is working through some of the toughest months he has faced in years, but I also don't won't to be blind. I have brought my concerns to his attention and was told that I was "dead"wrong - but he is not providing transparency about the time they spend together, when she is providing a ride for him etc., and I am having a really hard time trusting him.
I am an addict named Mike...I would also suggest Nar-Anon MEETINGS .You will find others in situations like yours where you can share your feelings and get suggestions on learn to function in the world of recovery and addiction.You will come to learn you didn't cause the addiction(his),you can't cure it and you can't control it...You will learn tools to help you with enabling behaviors and other valuable tools about the program based on the STEP system..Here's a Link to find a program near you....I am also a member of Nar-Anon,as my son is also an addict(now 29)clean for 4 years but suffered through 7 long years of Heroin abuse Putting our family on edge..It could be the best move you make..you will learn in your own way and own time how to ensure you don't get as sick as the individual who has the addiction,,it happens...your mental health is also of the utmost importance..he has a program for help ..so can you...I will lift you up in prayer as I can truly identify..................................................http://www.nar-anon.org/
-- Edited by MIKEF on Tuesday 2nd of June 2015 01:12:58 AM
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
That feeling of yours is very real. I discovered a similar feeling when things were coming to a head with my wife. She was spending a half hour on phone every day with a" spiritual advisor", who was in the program.
I didn't react well. In retrospect all I could have done was work on myself. AL anon and nar anon use the same 12 steps we use. This version of the serenity prayer helps me.... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
