Hi Recovery Family!!

Many of you do not know me so I will introduce myself briefly.

My name is John F.  I am a alcoholic/addict.  My sobriety/clean date is 12-21-89.  I am the founder and webmaster of Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums and also the founder/Director of Miracles In Progress Recovery House in Wilmington, NC which provides supportive group housing to alcoholics and addicts in early recovery.

I started MIP in 1999 when I couldn't get to any face to face meetings due to a severe back problem, which required surgery.  Shortly after that, in 2000 I had to undergo lung surgery to have what was later defined as a "undigested crack rock, two inches in diameter" removed from my left lung.  (yes, you read that right).  Then in 2001 I had a brain anyerism and had to undergo brain surgery.  All of these medical problems were directly related to a long career of active alcoholism and addiction.  My back problem was the result of driving a motorcycle under the influence and having a serious wreck, then not seeking medical treatment because I was on my way to a bar, and nothing was more important to me than the next drink at that time.  For about 8 years I smoked crack cocaine through a coke can, using ciggarette ashes as a filteration system on it.  The ashes accumulated on some phlem in the upper lobe of my left lung and was 2 inches in diameter before I entered recovery in 1989.  Thus, the "undigested crack rock, two inches in diameter".  Due to having smoked marijuana for 20 years, where you inhale and hold your breath, then release the smoke, as well as the 8 years of doing the same with crack cocaine, resulted in the excessive expansion and contraction of my blood vessels which weakened their linings.  As was explained to me by a group of medical staff that were involved in my brain surgery, all the years I spent smoking pot and cocaine, put 80 years of wear and tear on my 40 year old blood vessel system, via the expansion and contraction of it repeated by deep inhalation and release during my active addiction.

So, it was during these years, 1999, 2000, 2001 that Miracles In Progress was created due to my inability to get to as many AA and NA meetiings as I had become use to over the previous 10 years.  These years were actually a blessing to me, not a hardship.  It really forced me to look at my history and take positive action to enhance my recovery regardless of my medical condition.

Today I am considered to be a relatively healthy man.  I spent 3 years on disability which I was taken off of in 2004.  In 2005 I started a very good pressure washing and painting business, and opened the Miracles In Progress Recovery House.  I am a high energy person, that has so much going on in my daily life, that it sometimes interfers with there being enough room in its schedule for me, no less me and my future wife Rose J. who is a active Al-Anon member.  (Yes, I'm even engaged to be married to a beautiful woman!) 

Recovery has been very good to me.  AA and NA didn't just get me sober and clean, it taught me how to stay sober and clean, and on top of that, it taught me how to live a good, healthy, meaningful life in recovery.  I will be the first to admit that recovery is not for sissies.  It takes time, work, effort, sticktoitiveness, committment and the ongoing developement of a relationship with the God of my understanding.  My first sponsor of 11 years was a vital part of my recovery and healing process.  He knew when to hug me and when to kick me in the butt and didn't hesitate on doing either.  He died sober after working with me as a chronic relapser for 4 years and as a sober/clean member of NA and AA for 7 years.  His 11 year investment in me was exactly what I needed to get to a place of peace, serentiy and freedom from the insanity of an alcoholic mentality.

Since I got clean and sober and clean in Dec. of 1989, I have experienced alot of emotionally painful events in life.  My 11 year old daughter drown in a swimming pool when I was 8 years sober.  Both of my parents have since past away within 5 years of getting into recovery, and of course the painful experience of losing my sponsor.  I was a professional job getter, a lousy job keeper, heart break in early recovery was frequent because my version of a long term relationship was a 90 day fling.  Then of course Pets die too, and I lost a very dear, special dog that went with me everywhere, named James Dean.  I have a sister who is prostituting herself for cocaine, and has been in several abusive relationships, a brother that has tried to commit suicide twice in the past year, and a great number of sponsees that are a reflection of me in early recovery... unable to get and stay sober for any length of time, because they are still using AA and NA as a rescue mission, not a life support system.

But in spite of all this, the twelve steps have allowed me to grow up, learn, heal and recover on a daily basis for the past 16 years.  When asked how I am doing, my instinctive reply is,... Heck, I'm doing great, I can't even complain on a bad day!"

Think, think think... is a slogan that was written with people like me in mind that spent so much time, feeling, feeling and feeling... as I used my feelings as a barometer for what was a go reason to take that first drink.  Today I have FEELINGS... but I don't react to them, I respond to them... first by praying and then by sharing.

All I ever wanted in life was to become a decent, respectable, average man.  Today I am this person.  To care and share.  Today I do these two things.  To love and be loved.  Today these two element are vital parts of my daily life.

Thanks to the Twelve Step recovery process, I am no longer just sucking air, I am breathing, I am no longer surviving, I am living, I am no longer tip toeing on eggshells, I am walking.

I do hope in my heart of hearts that if you are new to recovery, you will stick around and allow the Miracle that is in progress take hold of you and bring us together on this happy road.

Yours In Recovery,

John

PS. I use both NA and AA simply because I could have gotten clean and continued to live dirty, and I could have gotten sober and still acted like a drunk.  Both programs address the same diesase, the spirutual black hole within, and offer the same solution to someone like me.