Hello, I really don't know where to begin here. I am the wife of a substance abuser and gambler. I have been trying to find information for families on Nar-Anon and can only seem to find help for the actual user. Does Nar-anon also assist in helping family members?
I just recently left the state with our children to stay with family. I gave him an ultimatum before I left and have talked to him several times since then. Things unfortunately are not looking good. I don't know what to do. I have been trying to help him for years. He doesn't think his problem is that serious...thinks he can help himself/willpower. He has quit soooooo many times- never lasted more than 2 months. This last major fight we had was once again in front of our young children....with whom he got physical with our son by throwing him on his bed and swearing at him and screaming at me, in my face, at the top of his lungs...calling me every name in the book-all while I was holding our 2 year old daughter. One week later I decided to leave and packed as much as I could bring in my SUV and drove from Boston to Texas. It has been 3 weeks and he is still refusing to get any kind of professional help. Just wants me to come home on his word that he will stop. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS FRIENDS does cocaine. That is the drug he is addicted to...including selling it and marijuana. He has black outs when he does too much cocaine. I could have a 10 minute conversation with him and 30 minutes later or the next day he doesn't remember a thing we talked about. It has gotten progressively worse over the years...especially since he has a ready supply of it. There is so much more...I could go on forever. My family has been wonderful and supportive. My mother has dealt with alcoholism in her family and suggested I try and get as much information to help me deal with it as well. Can anyone give me any information/advice. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Hi Danielle, Sorry to hear of your problems, unfortunately they seem to come with the territory. I guess to answer your question as to what is available to help the families of addicts we would need a more specific dea of what kind of help you are looking for. Every 12 step based program that I am aware of recognizes the fact that an addict can only be saved when THEY become willing. Have you looked at http://www.naranon.com/ ? I tried it and the site seems to be down, you might want to check back later. Have you tried googleing naranon? Google says it has 20,500 matches for naranon. I also think that Alanon would be appropriate if Naranon is not available in your area, it is the same disease-just a difference in the chemicals used to get high.
Have you looked at http://www.12stepforums.net/ , it is the mother site to this one, there is a alanon forum there. There is also http://nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm this is the link to a state by state meeting list. Families Anonymous would be another resource, they can be found at http://www.familiesanonymous.org/ there is a meeting list available there too.
Part of the statement from Narcotics Anonymous' World Service Office regarding Naranon & Families Anonymous is "Our relationship as a fellowship with NarAnon and Families Anonymous, as with treatment centers, clubhouses, or any other organization or enterprise, can then be simply and clearly defined as one of providing information. We provide--and will continue to provide--information about what we do, where we do it, where our meetings and conventions are held, etc., to anyone who asks for it. At the same time, we avoid any type of affiliation or special treatment for any people or organization outside of Narcotics Anonymous.'
I hope that this helps, if you need help finding a meeting and are afraid to say where you are you can email me by logging in-clicking list all users- and clicking on my name next to the avatar, I will do what I can to help find a meeting for you.
Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
Thank you Lon for such a quick response! You gave me alot of information I am sure I will find very useful. I will email you soon and talk a little more about the issues at hand. I have read over alot of the other messages and responses...it's nice to see how much you all truly care and want to help people.
