Personality change was what we really needed. Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary.
Basic Text, p. 15
=
In early life, most of us were capable of joy and wonder, of giving and receiving unconditional love. When we started using, we introduced an influence into our lives that slowly drove us away from those things. The further we were pushed down the path of addiction, the further we withdrew from joy, wonder, and love.
That journey was not taken overnight. But however long it took, we arrived at the doors of NA with more than just a drug problem. The influence of addiction had warped our whole pattern of living beyond recognition.
The Twelve Steps work miracles, its true, but not many of them are worked overnight. Our disease slowly influenced our spiritual development for the worse. Recovery introduces a new influence to our lives, a source of fellowship and spiritual strength slowly impelling us into new, healthy patterns of living.
This change, of course, doesnt just happen. But if we cooperate with the new influence NA has brought to our lives, over time we will experience the personality change we call recovery. The Twelve Steps provide us with a program for the kind of cooperation required to restore joy, wonder, and love to our lives.
=
Just for today: I will cooperate with the new influence of fellowship and spiritual strength NA has introduced to my life. I will work the next step in my program.
.....ahh,,it's been nearly 6 months that I've been back living the honest,open minded and willing life of recovery under Narcotics Anonymous. .....at a meeting on saturday,someone spoke to a fellow who's repeatedly coming back,,,saying ''it's clear you have the will to recover,,may you also have the resolve to follow through''..........these words registered with me.
..the following night ,,I was at my GF's ,where I slap-on a nicotine patch while I'm around,,and had not re-stocked my cigarettes as I normally would have,,planning to 'pick-up' in the morning.
...Over recent times I've been praying for the 'right moment' to come along,such that I could apply the principles of NA to my smoking addiction,,,and woke to a dialogue of,,,,''hey buddy-today's the day!'',,,,you've finally allowed yourself to run out of stash!'',,,,''why not listen to that gal who shared y'day,picking up some resolve to do the right thing'',,,and ''pick up a good hit of resolve ,just for today'',,,,''remember this is a just for today program!--be sure not to worry about the -big- picture--don't -overwhelm-just think of staying clear from smoking for TODAY,,,one day at a time'' .......
...I remembered some advice I shared with another addict--''don't let your health be the one to steer your direction,cause you can't take a step for yourself'',,and realized this is important advice for -me- to take today--I can see the damage that smoking's been doing to me,,,and remembered how I was sick and tired of smoking,,trying to quit even 25 years ago!
...so I resisted that first one,,remembering one is too many,,1000 never enough,,,as soon as I have one there's little stopping me from picking up the next,,,,,,and how that voice reminded me how turning to my higher power with prayer has helped in moments of weakness,,whether it be to phone my sponsor,,go to another meeting,,,or simply stop and breathe!
...so today...I'm waking up with a day clean!!....I'm staying one step ahead of my impulses by allowing each rush and urge to smoke to be a reminder to turn it over to prayer.,,,and each time the obsession eases....a voice sometimes asks''who are you doing this for?''--I easily reply--'for MYSELF,,just for today!!''
...as I head into this day,,I'm grateful to Narcotics anonymous for giving me the message , tools ,and spiritual strength of recovery such that I can take this step,just for today,,into a brave new smoke-free world!!
Just for today: I will cooperate with the new influence of fellowship and spiritual strength NA has introduced to my life. I will work the next step in my program.
__________________
...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
