Hello Eureka 1202 and WELCOME TO MIP!

I am an addict named Mike. I am also a member of Nar-Anon (www.nar-anon.org)for friends and family of drug abusers. Before I say more,I would only suggest you find a program in your area and make a meeting to offer you HELP DURING THIS TRYING PERIOD..That program will help you understand more about the addict, that you didn;t cause it,can't control it and can't cure it. Many just like you will share their situations and share what helps them in their trials work thru helping themselves through a 12 STEP program..That being said, I have a now 27 year old son who suffered through 7 long years of heroin abuse and use and shook the foundation of not only my own almost 3 decades of recovery but everyone around him.He detoxed in jail 3x as there isn't much help beside some drugs like you mentioned available inside..WE cannot make an addict find recovery,,most times the Pain has to outweigh the pleasure and the addict must come to that emotional acceptance of utter defeat and begin the healing by putting and keeping put down the substance.For us in Narcotics Anonymous,we have found that that is just the beginning of our recoveries,as WE suffer from a physical ,mental and spiritual illness that affects all areas of our lives. WE work in what we call our Solution ,the STEPS applied in all areas of our lives,and seek to give back to the best of our abilities by sharing our recoveries with others still sick and suffering...My son was in TC'S Drug Rehabs,Intensive care Units from overdosing,jail, DRUG COURT(thrown out after 6 months sent back to jail) and as many helping programs that were available.None worked until HE made the decision and did whatever it took to remain clean a day at a time..I can truly identify with how painful it is for you it is why I could suggest Nar-Anon for you.Some of us become sicker than our addicts with worry,fear,misinformation and the likes..As an addict I wore both hats but still found much help working my own process of recovery and giving back to both programs while really learning to 'Detach with Love' an almost ridiculous scenario for a parent or sibling or friend.WE help the most by allowing the addict to find the road to recovery as we set our guidelines ,adhere to them and learn to live our own lives..Probably not what you want to hear,but this is based on my own evidence and ESH..My best friend also an addict was always protected by his parents and ended taking his own life as he had no ability to cope with anything as he never experienced the opportunity.I have never fully recovered from his loss but I am more aware today than before...An addict will usually  only seek recovery when they are DONE...Nar-Anon will help you find the things that help and the things that don't when in these situations..I will lift you up in prayer and support and can remember back to my wife and I crying ourselves to sleep at night so we could mentally recover from our trials and my sons. Some of the most relieving times we had was when he was arrested and in Jail...Remember there is always HOPE,it is what NA is about and a promise of freedom from active addiction,but it takes work on a daily basis..Help yourself and you will help your sister,I truly believe that..My son is in his 4th year of recovery,he is living a responsible life and our relationship is is a true blessing from the God of our understanding.Trust and respect has to be earned and each day we are finding the bridge bringing us closer.WE have always had unconditonal love for him,but we had to let him go so he didn;t die.I know this from my own experience .Didnt mean for such a long diatribe but this is a situation close to my heart and I can feel your pain..Others will be on to offer their experience,strength and hope..Let us know how you are doing ...Have a blessed and productive day...

Thank you so much for your reply, Mike. I'm sorry for everything that you have been going through, and I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been to watch your son be consumed by an illness like that, especially with first-hand knowledge of how devastating it can be. It helps a lot to hear that you are both recovering, and gives me hope about my sister's future.
I guess I'm just fishing for some way to feel less helpless, and I was curious to hear if recovering addicts really agreed that I'm providing MORE support by separating myself from her situation. As much as I don't like it, what you say makes sense, and I guess I will have to do my best to detach :( I have usually thought about "enabling" from financial or practical perspectives, but your response made me really consider the negative impact that I could be having by emotionally enabling her. My parents and I are all very guilty of making her lifestyle more comfortable in that way, mostly by avoiding the topic but sometimes I think I help her rationalize her own behavior. I will definitely look for Nar-Anon meetings in my area...though the level of detachment that they promote seem so extreme to me.
She's so smart. She's clever and beautiful and an insanely fast-learner. It hurts so much to realize that this is the same person I shared a bedroom with while growing up--every time things seem like they might be headed in a positive direction, I get a phone call that something horrible has happened.
For a while she was using my identity when getting pulled over for speeding tickets because she had a warrant out for her arrest. She got four tickets (and I knew about them) before I finally called the police station and my parents dragged her in to explain what she had done. She's on probation for a felony drug conviction, and the judge (who was lenient) made it very clear that if she returns to his courtroom for violating probation that she will be serving the maximum sentence for her previous crimes. TEN YEARS! It's hard to convince myself that she deserves that kind of punishment when all I get for ignoring it is some points on my driver's license. Part of me wants to contact her probation officer and explain how she consistently passes drug tests, but the selfish part of me worries about losing her for so long.
Nonetheless, a funeral would be infinitely worse. :(
Thank you so much for your response. I will definitely find a Nar-Anon meeting. Hearing your supportive and sympathetic response was more relieving than I expected--thank you so much!! Hopefully someday this will all just be a bad memory...
I am truly sorry for all of the pain that you've suffered, and I will pray for you and your family's success, happiness and peace in the future.
Sincerely, Danielle

Thank you, avid. I hope that her trip to the jailhouse has some positive impact. It isn't her first trip there, but it is the first time my parents have decided not to bail her out. I wish there were an objective "solution" or a handbook with a guarantee! I will keep the "gift of desperation" in mind...it's just hard imagining not having a relationship with my sister or thinking about her living on the streets! One day at a time...