I am writing because I am in desperate need of advice on my relationship with someone in my family who is an addict. The details of this persons addiction is really not the important part. The most important part is that she is sober!!! Thank God!!! This person has been sober for I believe 3 or 4 years and I am very very proud of them because I know how hard they have fought to get their life back and I am so happy that her life has turned around.

Here is where the problem lies. Currently I am dealing with some issues myself, not with drugs or alcohol but with depression, my health and where my life is headed, kind of a mid 20's life crisis. I am the type of person who really needs to talk things out when I am having a problem and I often need a lot of advice to help me resolve my problems. Another problem I have had reason is being honest with my family. I have a tendency to tell half truths about things that are going on in my life because I don't want to get yelled at/judged/lectured by my family, often times when they just don't seem to understand. I have to admit being honest with my family is not strong habit of mine and it is something that I really need to work on in order to make my relationships better and stronger.

However the last time I talked to this specific person in order to get some advice from them this person acted very very short with me. When I called them on it, they finally told me what I feel they had been holding in for a while. This person basically told me that I am becoming emotionally draining, and she didn't know what to believe out of me anymore and that I need to stop lying and that they didn't really know what to do or how to "help" me anymore. When this person told me all of this, I literally started seeing red however I listened and then just said, I'm going to go and hung up the phone.

I was furious, so completely furious I didn't even know what to do with myself. I do agree that I have to start being more honest with my family, it will help everyone involved. But to hear it from this person who spent years and years and years and years lying to us about their addiction, who faced spending years of their life in prison, who put such a strain on our family for years has the nerve to get upset and lecture me about honesty with the family. Like I said I didn't even know what to do with myself.

It honestly feels like now that she has gotten a few years of sobriety behind her that she has gotten up on to this pedestal and is acting like she is living the model life. Its like she has completely forgotten everything she has done in her past. I really hate to blame anything for this attitude that this person has now but part of me wants to blame it on the 12 step program. I know that it has done so many good things for so many people but at the same time I feel like to a certain extent it has changed her attitude towards life. We have a family get together coming up in the near future and honestly I don't want to go at all. I want nothing to do with this person right now, I have to get over my anger towards her first.

I am asking people who are in the program because I want to better understand what she may be thinking and her attitude. In no way do I ever want to jeopardize her sobriety, I want to be able to support her in any way I can. Would it be better if we just didn't have a relationship for a while, what should I do? How do I get over my anger?