The Ninth Step tells us to make direct amends wherever possible. Our experience tells us to follow up those direct amends with long-lasting changes in our attitudes and our behaviorthat is, with indirect amends.
For example, say we've broken someones window because we were angry. Looking soulfully into the eyes of the person whose window weve broken and apologizing would not be sufficient. We directly amend the wrong weve done by admitting it and replacing the window we mend what we have damaged.
Then, we follow up our direct amends with indirect amends. If we've acted out on our anger, breaking someones window, we examine the patterns of our behavior and our attitudes. After we repair the broken window, we seek to repair our broken attitudes as well we try to mend our ways. We modify our behavior, and make a daily effort not to act out on our anger.
We make direct amends by repairing the damage we do. We make indirect amends by repairing the attitudes that cause us to do damage in the first place, helping insure we wont cause further damage in the future.
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Just for today: I will make direct amends, wherever possible. I will also make indirect amends, mending my ways, changing my attitudes, and altering my behavior.
-- Edited by Dave R on Monday 3rd of June 2013 06:31:28 AM
-- Edited by Dave R on Monday 3rd of June 2013 06:32:03 AM
I was told that changing my behavior is a direct amend.
An indirect amend is when I cannot make a direct amend to the person or organization. For example, suppose I have stolen money from a business that has folded. One way I can make amends for this is by giving something back to society, i.e. some form of public service.
I have made amends to both live people and people who have passed on .Whether they be indirect or direct amends , they are important to be able to do .So folks will not take you amends and it causes more hurt than good .
