Hey everyone I'm on vacation with my boyfriends family and they are so full of drama. And stress. They ate nuts and making me stressed out. They were talking about the news in Cleveland about the three girls who were kidnapped and raped for 10 years and it made me uncomfortable because I was raped and I was having flashbacks but I couldn't say anything because they don't know anything about that part of my life or my past. So now I'm all blah because I feel shitty bout myself.
Thanks for letting me share.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Hi Liz, Always glad to hear from you. Sorry your news isn't more 'happy, joyous, and free" but you came to us, and that matters. I'm curious about something.....You say that the conversation regarding those 3 poor girls gave you flashbacks to your own sexual assault. This is perfectly understandable. You were uncomfortable because of the flashbacks and because your bf and his family don't know that you suffer as a rape victim.....also understandable. Personally i think it is wise to be very selective about who you share such intensely personal stuff with. But then you go on to say "I feel shitty about myself" and that I don't understand. You did nothing wrong. You were a victim. You have a right to privacy about such a horror. If you find yourself haunted by this event, or if your depression/anxiety is related to it, then please consider some counselling. PTSD is a real illness, but it is treatable. Getting clean can solve a whole bunch of problems, but our literature reminds us to seek professinals for specific problems. This just might be one of those times for you. Prayers and best wishes for your health and happiness.
It makes me feel shitty about myself because I feel like its my fault. I know its not my therapist has told me that many times but it makes me feel dirty and broken. We haven't fully overcome this issue in therapy but we are working on it. I'm sorry that post was a little all over the place I was really tired last night when I posted that.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
No need to apologize, you were hurting and you shared. I'm really glad you are working on this guilt thing with a therapist. It's really important. I don't know what the events were that transpired that night, but nothing justifies being taken sexually against your will. Keep coming back.
Liz your working on it which means you want to feel better about it so thats all you can do, just keep working on it an come here and air it out when ever you need to, even letting a little out here is gonna help you and i'm very sorry that happened to you.
