Hi everyone! My sister had been using heroin for a year and a half, recently went through detox on her own and it living in my parents house. She is 24. She is awaiting to go to outpatient rehab on October 15th. (That was the soonest she could get in). She denies any drug use but continues to hang out with people that use. She tells me that she is trying to help them, and I am concerned that she is with people that are using and she will just use again. I told her this and she said she isn't going to abandon her friends that need her help. I told her that she can't help them just like I can't help her. Should I tell my parents that she is hanging around people that use? Maybe there will be some consequences like her phone away or car? I hate her putting me in this position. Also she is precribed ativan and i saw in a text message she told her friend she is snorting it! Should I make an anonymous call to her doctor? Any help would be great!
You are right that you can't fix her. She has to learn some of these hard lessons on her own. Probably she should not have been prescribed ativan in the first place, given her history of addiction. What is her doctor thinking!? I can understand how you feel, since I also have siblings who have had drug problems. You can offer you help and advice, but if she won't take it or listen, then you must back away and let them learn on their own. It sounds cold, but it, but it's realistic. Try going to some Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings.
I am an addict named Mike and the parent of a now recovering 27 yr old heroin addict ,my son.Although knowing from my own 25 years of addiction that there wasn't too much I could do,except set some boundaries and stick to them,I struggled with enabling situations and how to "detach with love' a very difficult concept to apply especially with loved ones.
I found NAR-ANON a most helpful program where you can sit and identify with others and learn through an anonymous 12 step program for parents ,friends and relatives of addicts.You will learn that you didn't cause it,you can't control it,and you can't cure it.Through the program you will learn about enabling,and how to approach situations that at time leave you sicker(based on my own evidence )then your actual qualifier.You can just show up and listen,it is totally anonymous and you can take what you can use and leave the rest until you are ready.You can GOOGLE NAR-ANON .ORG for a meeting place near you or call the local HELPLINE for information.I can only suggest to you that is a very beneficial program allowing you to learn how to live your own life and in turn truly help the addicted person....I can really identify with your situation from both sides of the coin.I will keep you lifted up in prayer and hope you reach out for some help''Remember with the God of your understanding(whatever that may be)and using a support program there is always HOPE!!.You may find a way around crying yourself to sleep at night..........Let us know how things are going..If you need further info you can PM me on my bio...............
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thank you so much both of you! I am going to my first NAR-ANON meeting tonight. All by myself. I have tried to get my parents to go but they are both in denial. I did tell my parents that she appeared to be high the entire weekend she stayed at my apartment. I told my mom that I didn't think it would be a good idea for her to come back to my apartment. My mom says, "You can't do that to her!" Ugh, this is seperating my family. I am the ONLY one willing to take action and go to meetings.
Sounds like you are doing the right thing. She may or may not ever get clean. there is nothing you can do about that. I understand your parents denial. they can't face the reality that there daughter is a junkie. So, you do what you can and pray for them all.
