well my sister tried to kill herself yesterday and she is now in the hospital for observation. we have tried to help her in every way possible but she doesnt want any of it. sorry i cant help her if she doesnt want to help herself. i cried today. the first time ive cried in years. thinking that i could have lost my sister forever just broke me. we dont get a long and we arent nice to each other. i often tell her i hate her and that i dont care she is dead to me and can fall off the earth for all i care because of certain reasons and things she has done to me and my family and i really do hate her. but i guess maybe i was thinkging about my 3 yr old niece her daughter and what would happen to her. she has many handicaps and has no father and my parents cant care for her and i sure as hell cant either. im just rambling i guess.
on another note im starting to "talk" to this guy. we have been friends for years and he is a great christian straight edge guy which is kind of what i need. but since me ex of 2 years dumped me in feb ive been lonely and not trusting of people and isolating but the county fair is this weekend and we are going tomorrow.
well thats it for now.
I keep checking in the chat room and theres never anyone there. come on people lets get it going again. pleaseeeeeeeee
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I'm sure you've heard the saying "resentments are like taking poison then waiting for the other person to die" If for no other reason then to free yourself of the hate and anger, poisons that will definitely kill your spirit and your soul, try to forgive your sister. Pray for the willingness to be able to let go of the hate and the hurt. You are right, you cannot save her, she has to want that for herself and then do the work. My brother died 12 years ago, and for 11 of those years I carried around so much hurt and anger against him for things he did to me and my parents. Through the process of the 12 steps and finding a spiritual path in my life, I was able to forgive him, and thus free myself. Sending prayers to you and your family. Peace
Tears and laughter,two of God's greatest gifts to us..Free yourself of the pain, remember that as we seek forgiveness we also seek to forgive.WE may hate the sickness that is seen in others(and ourselves) but with God's grace we learn to forgive...From the devastation I caused to all around me for 25 years of active addiction,for the pain my son ,a hard core Heroin addict(NOW IN RECOVERY),raviged on himself and all of those around,each new day gave us another opportunity to walk toward the light.WE have put up shields and masks to guard our fragile egos and as we trust in our Higher Power we can continue to go farther "inside" and release the FEAR.(.False Evidence Apearing Real)As always I will keep you lifted up in support and prayer.Thanks for sharing ,good to hear from you....Enjoy the Fair!!!!!(fried dough,$4.00 corn on the cob,WALK AWAY SUNDAES,ROASTED PEANUTS,OH YEAH.......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Sorry to hear about your sister....Could be possible that you are mistaking anger at what she does for hatred of who she is? anyway, glad to hear that you met a young man. Maybe he's even sorta healthy??? LOL It will happen if it's meant to .... thanks for the update.
