Hi, I am 27 years old and had been clean and sober for a little over 8 years. Before I was addicted to meth and it took me down some dark roads, I was homeless, spent time in jail and then went through 18 months of intense live in rehab. Since rehab I have not been to any meeting, however I turned my life comletely around. I severed ties with everyone I knew from that lifestyle, moved back in with my parents and got a second chance at life, which I did not let slip out from under my fingers again. I met my husband and we married and have now two amazing children a little boy and our youngest a little girl. My life is perfect 2 kids, I get to stay at home and raise our children, and we just bought our first home, I should feel complete and happy. However recently I have not felt that way and I injured my back terribly last year so the doctor prescribed me vicodin. I have to say I need it for the pain, but also am finding myself feening out for it like my old addict side. I think about it, I am taking a little more and a little more all the time because I want to feel it (along with take away the pain). I am not in denial I know that I am beginning to develop a scary habit that will only lead to bad, but I cant stop number one because I still have ALOT of pain, but I also want the medication too. I do not really know what to do, and I dont know why I feel so sad and depressesed lately when I should feel happy and complete? I want to try to stop taking to medications and just push through the pain, but a big part of me does not want that. Any suggestions? Thanks to whoever took the time to read this, I am grateful for the ear.
I am an addict named Mike.I am sorry for your situation and can Identify with how the pain of an injury can change the whole quality of our lives.You have a strong base in recovery and I can only suggest you have to work the same process you did when getting free from Meth.But we also remember that even though we put the substance down,we suffer from a physical,mental and spiritual illness that affects all areas of our lives.We seek to address the exact nature of whats going on with us and we can get complacent(missing meetins,no sponsor,out of contact with recovering addicts etc) A good refresher'IN TIMES OF ILLNESS' FOR HOW WE APPROACH OUR MEDICATION ETC is always a good reread(GOOGLE ON LINE).You are aware you are fiending so time to put the principles back into action.I am not saying it is easy,kicking Meth im sure was not either.Do you still utilize a sponsor and in contact with any other recovering addicts?It always brings us back to our 1st step,our admission of powerlessness and unmanageability.I can only surmise the depression and the feelings of sadness,hopelessness etc are by products of the increasing use of the V's. and loss of control. You can begin again,each day is another opportunity for freedom.You may want to revisit your Dr and have your script adjusted,Only you know if you are using above and beyond.You can get back on track.taking your meds as prescribed,seek the serenity of your Higher Power and get back at it.Easy,most likely not,doable ?absolutely.I will keep you lifted up in prayer .Let us know how your doing!! Peace..
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Dear Mary. my name is Raman and im an addict. Thanks for sharing and describing your situation so clearly.
im greatful that though ive had ups and downs in my recovery too, I didnt get fixed on the meds. Yes, Ive had surgery, rash and dental problems but was always savd by The Word. Especially impacting was the line "our bodies dont know the difference between drugs prescribed by a doctor and those we prescribe for ourselves " (Basic Text).
I believe that recovery is my responsibility. In the time of that surgery and hospitalization I asked NA members to visit me. They came everyday if the 10 days i was in-patient. And in much the same manner, whenever i had an extraction or tooth job done, I knew the pain killers would be an issue. So i asked the doc to give me non-opiates. Then I stayed within the precribed dose. And went to meetings and shared.
Being honest is the key to recovery and seeing as you have so truthfully shared the problem, theres no good reason it wont pass! Please keep coming back...warm hugs too....
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
You said that you have not been to any meeting since rehab. That's about 6 and half years. No wonder you are having trouble! It is amazing to me that you are still clean (if we can call it that). This is a "we" program not an "I" program. NA recovery works by going to meetings on a regular basis, working the steps with a sponsor, getting a home group, getting involved in the fellowship and service work, and prayer/meditation. Recovery is an inside job too--it is about where we are in life spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It is not about external things--husband, house, 2 kids, etc., although we can get these things through recovery. I hope you are able to get to a meeting soon.
Hi and welcome. I understand how a doctors visit can lead to a relapse. It has happened to me and many, many, other addicts. Meetings, calling a sponsor daily, reading NA literature, working steps and prayer are our program. Following these simple suggestions faithfully has saved thousands of lives.
"the pain killers would be an issue. So i asked the doc to give me non-opiates." this... Be honest with your dr. Some can be very helpful and medically knowledgeable about addiction. If you've gotten this far... You can find a way to get thru this too.
