Been in a "poor me funk for a minute and when I did my gratitude list this a.m. seemed like I had to equal sides of positives and negatives,for me that is very unbalanced.You see been whining cause I aint working,not in a band ,minimal $$$ coming daughter and husband still living with us,not sure what to do with myself,not making meetins etc........HELLO!!! So i called some addicts from up North(couple who relate on a very spiritual level)caried my butt to an afternoon Just FOR tODAY MEETING,Whats the message change and growth.....did someone hear me,,oh yeah....After sharing some of my feelings and also reverberating AFTER MANY YEARS OF PRACTICE I KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THE PROBLEM AND INTO THE SOLUTION(THOUGH SOMETIMES MUCH HARDER THAN OTHERS)I realized once again making a consistent daily 3rd step and only saying im surrendering my will to the "care of" BUT not taking the action that is needed IS KEEPING ME IN A FUNK...A job just aint going show up(do I really want to pursue one?) band aint just gonna happen by magic takes some effort,hard to get spiritually refreshed when im crying in my soup,WORRYING is a lack of faith as our literature tells us... so today Meeting was great,met many recovering addicts,actually got a business card from a women(addict in recovery my age) who plays flute in a World music Band and needs a drummer,got my 2nd Social Security check,fat but healthy,time to train little harder and definitely work to 'IMPROVE" MY CONTACT WITH MY HIGHER POWER..Complacency ,as we are told ,is definitely the enemy of those with substantial clean time(or any clean time I believe), and when we are complacent too long our recovery ceases...hhmmmm sounds like some people knew what they were talking about huh(a book written by,about and for addicts).Got some new numbers,looking at my list and "changing the things I can" and taking some action.Not really brain surgery,but i DO REALIZE THIS HARD HEAD sometimes needs a rude awakening.Tomorrows.if so granted,list will be much more loaded to the positive side,that I will definitely make progress on.... What .Alive,Clean and God Powered ,ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.....thanks FOR LETTIN ME RAMBLE...pain SHARED DEFINITELY Pain LESSENED.....WE can do this together....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Ummm, alright... no coincidences you say? Guess there's no more excuses for me bathing in my quagmire of devolution then! Time to turn complacency on it's head~! Once again I thank you for your insight... I seem to schlepp the same path as you more oft than not! Peace, kd
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"The Greatest Possession We Have is The 24 Hours Ahead Of Us"
