Just wanted to land here for a few moments this morning and touch base with all you fine, wonderful people.
As some of you know this past 18 months has taken some twist and turns that I never saw coming. Some of which tore me up to a point of despair and made sucking air on some days very hard to keep doing. I made it through it.... without taking a drink or drug. Without committing murder or suicide, and without exacting a revenge of any sort.
What made this possible is my Higher Power, living one day at a time, a program that is designed to bring the dead back to life, and ... LOVE. I never lost the ability to love, myself or others. Or allow myself to be loved by others. Even in the moments of the most severe pain, love was at the forefront of my spirit.
Today, while the road in front of me is surely to have more bumps, low laying branches, pot holes, curves, and moments of doubt,... I am on a good road.
Through prayer and mediation, I get spiritually aligned. I know I can stay between the lines. Through my connection and access to a Higher Power I know I can take my hands off the wheel and I will be guided to exactly where I'm suppose to be.
I am not a active addict or drunk today, I am a recovering person who has not found it nescessary to get through this thing called life, with all its ups and downs, by drinking alcohol or using a narcotic in over 22 years.
Lastly I want to say that Miracles In Progress has played a hugh roll in my life! On some days the only thing I had to hold on to for a reason to keep living was this endeavor I started 14 years ago. MIP gave me a reason to keep moving forward even when I didn't want to.
H.O.P.E. = Helping Other People Everyday.
Through MIP, when I thought I had nothing else to give, when I thought I was not worthy of a ray of sunshine, when fear was trying to teach me a new song and dance...
An email would arrive, a text message would be recieved, or my phone would ring.... it doesn't matter if it was because a link wasn't working on the site, or someone needed help changing a password, they couldn't get into the chatroom, or it was a heart broken mother whose 19 year old son was living in a port-a-potty, addicted to heroin in Newark, NJ.. begging for help for her son, .. or her son who called crying his guts out.. saying he didn't know what to do any more...or the alcoholic in relapse that called from some unknown place on this planet to either tell me how great I was or what a piece of shit I was (Ya know how we call everyone when we're drunk? LOL)
Every one of these contacts with the human race, made it sooo damn hard to ball up inside myself and stay there. I was pulled out of me, time and time again.
When I thought no one cared, when I wondered why I try to do all of this stuff... someone would click the donate button and put 3, 5, or 10 dollars on the MIP acct. showing me they cared, they valued, they appreicated. There was a time or two, in a place of utter despair that something as simple as that would pull me out of the brink of feeling utter lonilness and show me I'm not alone, that there are people on my side, who wanted to be there, that I didn't have to try to do everything by myself any more...
This morning the birds are making a song all around my duplex, the sun is starting to rise above the tree line, my dogs are wagging their tails, and my cat is chasing a fly... and I'm sitting here in a place of graditude, that allows me to know with all my heart..
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
John without MIP i would be dead point blank relapse after relapse i knew where i was home ty for letting me be a part of this miracle in progress as all addicts alike are. You have put up with me thru thick and thin doing service work and what not and i hope i can continue to KEEP COMING BACK ty John
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino