Im from a Bangalore group too.

Seems you are angry at whoever.
You have a right to be.

But flaming on someone reflects a spiritual disease.
But as far as i know, this is not a place to take others inventories, what works works
and Im not to judge who should do what.

But the 7th Tradition is not a compulsory, by force thing.
Contributions are voulntary, and if a member chooses not to contribute, then that is ok too.
Anonymity assures us the privacy.

I have a problem sometimes because of no change.
Later, Id go and ask the secretary for change and then contribute.
Other times, I catch up and put in a bit, to cover up for last time.

Anyways, to each one, his/her own program.

To condemn someone for drinking tea at a meeting, and then assuming they do not contribute is very harsh.

As far as I know, in my home group Vision of Hope, there are no "rules".

If I were you, Id consult group conscience and if it is made compulsory to pay for the tea, then that member must be informed.

Oh, by the way, i do not know of any member in Bangalore area named Sheetal.

So, Id think you are the one hiding behind a false character here....hahaha..

Seemslike every Fellowship, everywhere in the World has it's cross sections and sub-cultures, and my town is no exception.

My city is full of dedicated recovering addicts, who want to grow and see Our Circle row.

But Bangalore City, in the southern Indian state of Karnataka, a city of 15 million people and about 300 recovering addicts with various clean times, has this bunch of people that spend loads of time in coffee shops. That's their time pass and wouldnt be so illwilling if it werent gossiping and doing character assasinations. Needless to say, that's their way of addressing their shortcomings. It makes them feel smug, superior and mischievous and better recovering addicts than me.
And Im always on their list, because I dont hang out there and especially as I do not spend money to curry favours or buy friendships and support.

I believe in that old proverb "a fool and his money part easily" and knowing that Im basically a people pleasing addict, Im very
careful with my money and how I spend it.

Far as i can tell, Ive always been the "giver" with money.
In my using days, i had a lot fo fair weather friends and shared money, time and home with them.

Then came the down and out days and for three years I never had a single job.
This is when all those using friends left me and I was alone and fended for myself by taking money from my folks.
In those days, I was thinking that the only way out financially was to become a smack producer, you know ??
The "manufacturers" !!!! That way id be in the big league, I thought. So, I set out to do that but never was successful; I didnt know the process !

Id shared this as an emotional weapon one day with my mom, and thereafter, she gave me controlled amounts pf money.
The last three years of my using was a daily routine of begging ma, then scoring, getting high and then back to being a beggar.
I was too afraid to steal, Id never really been a thief. Id become too afraid to push, after a very dreadful encounter with the law.

And then, miracles happened and I got recovery; first in a treatment center. After being through many hospitalizations and place changes, this treatment thing worked and I stayed clean a full 5 months and they discharged me with strong suggestions to attend AA. I did. There was no NA but AA served the purpose and there I met my first real sponsor.
This guy was a real inspiration and taught me two very important basics; the Steps are the solution and working with newcomers is the way out of the dis-ease.

Thereafter, Ive spent thousands and thousands of rupees on broke addicts, whether it was for buying them coffee or dinner, sometimes lending, or driving them to meetings, outings, conventions. Im stating this to simply to say who I am, and what has worked for me. Whether in AA or later in NA, Ive taken this route. Ive never was bounded by that and later on carried the Principle of of sharing money with the "outside" too.
Now here is the sad part; those very people that I have been generous with get very pushy and agitated when Im either unable to spend on them or dont want to.
these are the people that usually make mischief for me.

And as a recovering addict, Ive never borrowed from other addicts, from family or friends. Ive honestly played my sax and sang as best as I could and have been the sole bread winner in my family for the past 23 years.

Ive been through financial crisis too.
Because of my "just for today" attitude, I never saved anything substantial.
And Ive been in financial crisis this past month, bringing back memories of "dreaded month of March".
Today was the first show Ive had in 25 days. What else can you feel but panic ?
Last year at this time, I was totally out of income having not had a single job in all of two months.
Being the sole breadwinner for me, my 16 year old and my 72 year old ma, I was seeing dark.. and now I dread that insecurity coming pon us again.

Last year, I wrote my inventory, found out i was wasting money in people pleasing and when i stopped doing that, i angered many people that looked forward to my outings.

There have been very many occassions when Ive contributed to the group substantially.
There's been a time when I travelled as RCM to a far away place, at my own great expense, and putting my very life at risk with bandits, terrorists and impulsive law enforcement agencies. Fact is that ASC at that time promised me repayment but as of this day, 16 years later, nothing.... and then to think that at that time I could have used that money as down payment for a site and that site would have been worth at least 50 to 70000 dollars today. 

And what about the free shows I do for NA/AA events ? I charge nothing because Im a member too.
I get paid quite well on the outside for the same kind of performances.
In my career as a corporate entertainer, Ive been honest and committed, signs of a good recovery.
Ive had the same commitment and honesty in NA service too and have been as free as I could afford with time and money in the course of that service.
Ive spent almost my entire inheritance money goin to England, studying events management, because that is the hot field now, and kids here want to study it.
So i studied a masters in order that I may teach kids back here in Bangalore and provide them with a proper theoretical foundation in their careers as events and conferences managers.
And in the meanwhile there in England, I spent lots of money in NA service and on newcomers.

And yes, sometimes I find myself in tight corners and cannot be free with my bread.
And yes, as I shared in the previous post, sometimes when Im in a group meeting and do not have change, I ask for it and if I cant get change, I do not feel guilty for not contributing.

If indeed Id been conning and manipulating newcomers, where is that proof ?

Moreover, it is my money and I do know how I should be spending it; without that being an outlet for my addiction.
This " natural wisdom" has been " activated" after lot fo sharing with sponsor and trusted friends.

And if someone with a false identity/ not knowing facts flames me here, I will only request my friends here in MIP not to take issue with these pseudos, who cant even go by their real names or are driven by gossip, slander and character assasination/ misrepresenting facts.

I read that slanderous, outrageous post this afternoon when i was reeling and writhing in agony with a urinary tract infection and was looking for comfort here in MIP. I was totaly shocked and upset reading that and also despaired that a MIP member of standing, was endorsing that without knowing facts.

Ive been in MIP for maybe 9 years and have found it to be a great support in my recovery; I really hope that status dosent change !

-- Edited by Raman on Monday 19th of March 2012 03:29:44 PM

Your gonna find a lot of IMPERFECTIONIONSTS in the rooms and outside, but most are good people, just flawed and some are reeeeeally screwed up.

WE"RE ALL SICK PEOPLE and just because we get clean doesn't mean we're all of a sudden well, we're still sick people our problem was not just drugs, our problem is our thinking.

All some people have done is stop using, the same defects of charecter are there, the same actions and behaviors are there and thats because they've not honestly and thougroughly worked the 12 steps.

We have a spiritual awakening when we work those steps thouroughly, our actions and behaviors change, we become something we weren't before, we become more spiritual beings.

So we try not to judge and sometimes we must pity others, because it is a shame to get clean and not recover from a hopeless state of mind and body, this is 2 fold double edged, much must be addressed and it doesnt happen over night.

more will be revealed....

-- Edited by BigV on Tuesday 20th of March 2012 09:39:45 AM

That is quiet a coincidence, because while logging in,  I was just thinking how much I respect and appreciate your influence here Raman.

The perspectives and intelligence you offer help relay  the message of hope in a simple, easy to understand point of view. Your like my sponsor, in that you explain things in a way people can relate to what you say. You take a moment to understand how a person relates to a situation, then you explain it in those terms.

We can't please all the people all the time, and what other people think of us is none of our concern. All we can do is strive to keep our side of the street clean. It's a fact of life, every now and then we are going to walk outside, and a bird is going to poop on us. Smile, wipe it off, move on. And thank you for the spiritual awakenings.

Dave B

ur recovery is only a jilt, if i give u one jilt, u will loose ur self and go back to using....i assure u and promise you this Mr.iyer....ur very very weak person blowing ur life out..