Hi my name is raman and I am an addict, clean and serene. My views are that of a recovering addict. Im father to a 16 year old myself, but thank God she isnt into drugs.
But, in my area, we have a whole lot of guys that are in the 16 to 21 age group seeking recovery from drugs. They've all been through the experimenting, getting caught, not being able to stop routine. My experience is that parents are in hell when they learn their kids are doing drugs.
And you know what ? Parents cannot seem to understand that they have no control over the dis-ease. Moreover, it cant be cured, and most importantly, parents are not the cause.
Next, do understand that unless these kids want to stop using and find a new way of life, no amount of counselling, medicals, threats etc. will work.
Take him to NA meetings. Do you know where they are in your area ? If there was a clue about where you live, then meetings lists can be made available. Next, take your son to these NA meetings.
He could hear or experience something that'd change his life.
-- Edited by Raman on Sunday 22nd of January 2012 11:24:45 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I don't know where to begin, but I will make it as short as possible.
My 16 year old son (almost 17) was "experimenting" with pot almost a year ago. We (parents) found out about it. Read him his rights, he swore he'd never do it again.....well we all know how that goes, he did do it again, we submitted him to home tests every couple of weeks, to the doctor for blood work, had a police officer talk to him (more like scare the crap outta him) and we thought good, we are past this stage.
Today, (mothers intutition) I decided to do a sweep of his room while he is at work. I found a pipe, lighters, a digital scale (in grams) empty script bottle that smelt of pot. Here we go again. He's (i am guessing) never stopped. WE have no idea who this boy is anymore. Lie after Lie,
He is failing school - should have seen that as a sign. He is a brilliant boy, very smart, his potential is endless, but he is throwing it all way. He could have had his pick of colleges, now, I don't know if he will get in with his grades.
What do I do? I want to take him to a meeting, I want to shake the shit outta him, I want him to stop.
I already know his answers, deny, deny, deny, He's a great manipulator,very good at that. His attitude towards pot is "it's not a big deal, it is gonna be legal". He has a very lax attitude towards pot.
Where do I go to find a meeting for teens? Can I take him to a reg' Narcotics Anonymous meeting?
My son has a very addictive personality to start with. My Dad was an addict and alcoholic. He has that stacked against him.
Any help, would be greatly appreciated. Esp before he comes home tonight from work.
Sorry this message is all over the place, it's just coming out as I think of it. l
I have a son that has been using drugs since he was 13. I have taken him to counseling, NA meetings, talked with etc. etc. Things have gotten better but he still uses. Although you can't control what he does, you can set down some rules (e.g. no drug or alcohol use in the house!). Whatever you do, maintain the lines of communication. Things are likely to get much worse if you kick him out of the house, for example. To take care of you, you can start going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings.
Hi, I feel your frustration. Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do to get your son to stop using drugs. (Yes, marijuana and alcohol are drugs) You need support and education as to what you can do to keep yourself in balance. there is an organization called Nar-anon...it is a 12 step support group for family members of drug addicts. It is based on the principles of Al-anon...a support group for family members of alcoholics. If there is no nar anon in your area the al anon groups are usually pretty welcoming and can do you a world of good. These days drugs and alcohol abuse often go hand in hand. I wish you well. But as you have seen so far, your son will lie repeatedly to keep his drugs. This is not unique. Nothing you are going through has not been endured by countless others before you. Seek out al/nar anon. Benefit from their experience and your life will get better. Your son will find us when the time comes.
Hi Trudy,,, yea well , without wanting to contradict common belief, i need to say he doesnt have to hit a real low rock bottom like many of us did.
Thats what the sharing of experience, strength and hope is all about. It's like we're saying to younger addicts "you dont have to get that bad to get good. We've already suffered on your behalf"
I can feel your powerlessness too. As a family member, ive suffered alcoholics, addicts, rageholics and lunatics all my life.
Ive lost uncles, my mothers father, cousins to this disease.
This afternoon, I was again faced with the reality of my brothers drunkeness. At 5 this evening, my daughter calls out loudly " Daddy, daddy, look, something's happened to uncle".
I rush outside the house and see him sprawled on the sidewalk. We take help and four men carried him into the apartment. One hour later, he was still blacked,,, too much to drink. The pain on his wife's and daughter's face makes me very angry at being powerless to help my kid brother. But reality is that I cant control or cure him..
He's been in treatment, in meetings and all but is chronic............... He , me and my ma have been together a long time, each in their own apartment but close. And to see him like this all these years has been very dark, to say the least. But each time this happens, Im reminded of my powerlessness over addiction.
And also we recover to the extent that we maintain our spiritual condition.....
Wish you all the best with your kid and the best of Anon to you too.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I agree with the others , you should take him to NA meetings , and go with a open mind . Telling him he has to quit pot is like a threat. I used for 39 years tried all kinds of ways to get clean NA the only one that worked . I also have a son that is now a recovering addict .I helped him every way I could .My Dad was a judge and lawyer ,that does not mix with being a addict.He threw me out of the house ,made my addiction get worse,we are best of friends now that I'm in recovery.
