That is one of the first things i heard in the rooms of n.a. and it seemed to be what i call a clarity statement . For one reason or another we come to n.a. but there is one reason that i keep coming back...because my best thinking wasnt good enough...my thinking was clouded by all the delusions of addiction but i thought this was normal thinking. my thinking thought it was okay to let someone else raise my kids for me...my best thinking let me run my credit to the ground and my best thinking got me locked up and i chose locked up over recovery a few times because my best thinking was i wont be on probation so i can start where i left off. my best thinking caused me pain so much so that ii wanted to die.....
thats my best thinking....and where it got me and i only speak for me. Then while i was in a court room the judge said ms. when are you going to realize that your best thinking has got you here over and over...and that that the definition of insanity was my thinking anything would change for me if i kept on with my best thinking...
and in that brief conversation CLARITY set in. My mind opened and my heart opened and i was in that moment aware that i was and addict and that my best thinking was destroying my whole life....i went to a unity day of my home county and there was a comedian mark L. and he has a saying that i use as a tool "FIRST THOUGHT WRONG".
__________________
kelly lofquist
Dont stress over what couldve been, chances are if it shouldve been, it wouldve been...
This program of ours works because it recognizes reality. Reality for us is that we can't rely on our own judgement, becuase as sick people our judgement is warped. So we have a sponsor and a support group. Before undertaking any course of significance we bounce it off these trusted people in our life. We take their suggestions and somehow, little by little our lives get better. My higher power speaks to me through members of NA...when I listen I am in His will, when I don't I am in mine. His works a wholllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeee lot better.
