I know what you mean. I feel like a loser because of my drug and my alcohol abuse. I didn't really make anything out of my life. But I don't think it's too late. I want to go back to school so I can have that chance again at life... like what you were talking about. But I think first we have to put that on the back burner and work on fixing ourselves. How we can do that, I don't know. I just decided to quit last night so today is my first day.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I know where you're coming from and I don't think it's too late for us.

hi kelly again
im really glad you decided to quit...1st day is the hardest or it was for me. im glad i made sense to someone, sometimes i think my thoughts come out all scrambled and no one could possibly understand what the hell im trying to say.. and yes i feel like such a loser now that i look around me and see what ive done to my life, or all the things i never accomplised because i thought my scene was the only way to live. anyways i'll probably talk more about this now that i found a n.a. chat board and hey im proud of your 24 hours and i hope i see and chat with you again...keeping it simple in maryland.

addiction itself controls us with a power greater then we are. we just need to find the positive higher power to get and stay clean. i'm here to listen when you need me! im in your corner. its the most loving thing you can do for yourself but you cant do it alone...and there are plenty of people in n.a. that will help. i know this for a fact. i love my home group meetings and i miss them now that i moved away but i still have them on my facebook and speed dial and i talk to my friends that way thank god for n.a. i wouldnt have found a new way to live without the meetings. 90 in 90 is how i started and sometimes i would go to 2 or 3 a day when i first got clean becaue i had to get plugged into the program as it was something i had never done and i did exactly what was suggested i do follow the suggestions... because my best thinking got me to the darkest places with no hope...i did try picking and choosing how i was going to work my program and i failed each time. so its been working as long as get out of the way and do it the way the program is done and by the grace of gods will for me it is working. my life is better i still have along way to get what i want but ive got clarity now to know what i dont want my life to be like and its all because of what ive gained from n.a. and this keeps me on the right track one day at a time. i am soo grateful...i pray you find your higher power until then get into the program and do it the way its suggested and it will work for you. god bless you!

I've been told that I am an instrument of my higher power. Getting clean and staying clean has allowed me to help others find a better way of life. There are things in my past I'm not proud of, and with time, I've come to accept them for what they are. The thing is, without these experiences of the past, I could never begin to help other addicts find recovery.

I guess I'm lucky I found recovery when I did. I got clean when I was 25. Even still, I look at friends that I grew up with. One is a podiatrist in Detroit, another is a computer programmer in Rochester, MN. The other is a nurse in Fargo, ND. I had the potential to be anything I wanted. Unfortunately, I chose to use. I have a degree in music, but today I work as a receptionist in a manufacturing plant. It's not glamorous... I don't make the "big bucks," but it pays the bills. The people are decent and it affords me the luxury to do what I want AFTER work. :)

I'm in school now, too, part time. I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up, but the options are limitless!

Life can get discouraging, but that's when the company of other addicts helps me gain some gratitude in my life. It gets ME out of ME!

My old friends who are "successful" never had the experiences I did. Some of them are envious that I was able to explore the world and do the things I did before "settling down." They were stuck at work and with babies at home.

I don't wanna grow up. I've decided I'm not going to, either! I can't take life too seriously or I'll go right back out using again. Have fun, live life, do what you want to do, and most importantly... STAY CLEAN! :)