I am new online meetings but have been a struggling addict for more than 5yrs. Every time that I quit using the dope & pills, I get very depressed and don't feel like myself at all. So i keep going back to one drug or another in order to "feel right". Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any advice? I AM WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING.
The Basic Text of NA clearly states that addicts have a tendency to remember only the good times. The good drug times become vivid in my memory when I have a thing called "euphoric recall".
This lead me back, time and again to drugs after brief periods of abstinence. These relapses were preceded by thoughts like; "Ive stayed clean, so now I can control it" "This staying clean is very fucked up" "Ill use a bit and sort my life out, then Ill stop" "how can I live without drugs ?"
Behind all this was the obsession, that drugs make life easier, and I forgot the misery and poverty that followed.
So each time I started again, substituting one for another, I released my addiction all over again. Compulsive use begins with the first drug,, one is too many and a thousand never enough after that.
Powerlessness over addiction meant that once I started, I couldnt stop on my own, no matter how hard I tried or how great the desire.
Im greatful for having been inform about the dis-ease I suffer from and that just for today, I never have to use gain, no matter what !
-- Edited by Raman on Friday 30th of September 2011 03:42:36 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Try going to meetings, lots of meetings, working the steps with a sponsor, getting a home group, and getting involved in NA. I have found that true joy and happiness come from a relationship with a higher power, which I can develop through my interactions with people in NA.
Yes, I do know what that feeling. You see I used drugs for so many years that being high was normal for me. Feeling high was "feeling like me" But it's not me....and it's not you. Nothing is stranger for an addict than to stop using drugs. But we must or we will die. Immerse yourself in the program....Go to two or three or more meetings a day. Get phone numbers of recovering addicts and call them. lose all your old using buddies. Remember, this will not happen over night. You will change five years of behavior in a couple of weeks or a couple of months. but it will get better. I really does. This is a simple program, but it's not easy. You can't do it alone. So get to meetings, reach out, ask for help and keep coming back.
Go to 90 NA Meetings (live, in person, face to face meetings) in 90 Days. Surround yourself with those who are doing and being want you want to be, a Clean addict living life on life's terms. Depression and mood swings are normal when quitting our daily self medication of active addiction. We think we know what we feel and felt but in reality all we knew was drug induced and come here pretty much clueless about what and who we really are and especially knowing anything about handling real feelings. We come here emotional babies, blubbering idiots when it comes to feelings.
It gets better One Day at a Time. We learn how to live, we learn how to feel, we learn how to grow up. Clean.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
I too relapsed many times. Go to as many meetings as possible - some people who have the time go to 2 or 3 meetings per day !!! Make sure you have a sponsor. Work a good step 1. 90 meetings in 90 days at least !! Make sure you announce at the meeting - how long you have been clean ! Hang around recovering people as much as possible !!!! We stay clean 1 day at a time and keep coming back. If you have the funds or insurance - consider a good Rehab program.
