...we covered low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. The masks have to go.
Basic Text, p. 33
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Over-sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are often associated with active addiction. Many of us carry these with us into recovery; our fears of inadequacy, rejection, and lack of direction do not disappear overnight. Many of us have images, false personalities we have constructed either to protect ourselves or please others. Some of us use masks because were not sure who we really are. Sometimes we think that these images, built to protect us while using, might also protect us in recovery.
We use false fronts to hide our true personality, to disguise our lack of self-esteem. These masks hide us from others and also from our own true selves. By living a lie, we are saying that we cannot live with the truth about ourselves. The more we hide our real selves, the more we damage our self-esteem.
One of the miracles of recovery is the recognition of ourselves, complete with assets and liabilities. Self-esteem begins with this recognition. Despite our fear of becoming vulnerable, we need to be willing to let go of our disguises. We need to be free of our masks and free to trust ourselves.
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Just for today: I will let go of my masks and allow my self- esteem to grow.
Drugs were one big mask for me. When I was high on drugs, I would try to be anything you wanted me to be. I wanted to forget my true self and be someone else. Today, I'm glad that I don't need masks and I can just be me.
My bf always put my self esteem to shame. So I masked who I really was to fit his needs and make him happy. Although today I'm happy that I can remove my mask and be who I really am. And if he doesn't like it, he can find someone else. I should never have let a man change who I really am.
