By the time we reached the end of our road, many of us had lost all hope for a life without the use of drugs. We believed we were destined to die from our disease. What an inspiration it was, then, coming to our first meeting and seeing a room full of addicts who were staying clean! A clean addict is, indeed, a vision of hope.
Today, we give that same hope to others. The newcomers see the joyful light in our eyes, notice how we carry ourselves, listen to us speak in meetings, and often want what we have found. They believe in us until they learn to believe in themselves.
Newcomers hear us carry a message of hope to them. They tend to see us through rose-colored glasses. They dont always recognize our struggle with a particular character defect or our difficulties with improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power. It takes them time to realize that we, the oldtimers with three or six or ten years clean, often place personalities before principles or suffer from some other unsightly character defects.
Yes, the newcomer sometimes places us on a pedestal. It is good, though, to openly admit the nature of our struggles in recovery for, in time, the newcomer will be walking through those same trials. And that newcomer will remember that others walked through that difficulty and stayed clean.
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Just for today: I will remember that I am a beacon to all who follow in my path, a vision of hope.
Honest sharing is really difficult. It's so easy to fall into the "sounding good" thing. I know a guy, may years clean and very wise in the ways of recovery who has this anecdote "How do you know when an addict is lying"? Answer: "His lips are moving" Funny but sadly often true.
