Hello. I am going to have 8 months clean on June 19th. I am happy about that, of course, but I have had trouble getting to Face to Face Meetings because I have a 5 1/2 year old child. I have only been able to go about 6 times in the last 7 months. The problem that I am having is that everytime I do go, I am super uncomfortable. I love the program and most of the sharing, but if I am not sharing It wont help me, right. I feel like what I have to say is inferior to what everyone else is saying and will sound stupid and not "with the topic"....any suggestions ??
My sponsee JUST called me 2 nights ago and told me the very same thing you said...that she felt she didn't have anything "profound" to share and that she sounds "dumb". That is the disease whispering to us the very famous lie that we don't measure up to everyone else and were not good enough. I told her she is not qualified to determine whether what she shares is 'good enough' =) I passed what was told to me ..I share my experience, strength and hope and whoever that message is meant to go to, God will deliver it. Have a GREAT day!
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Carrying the message of hope and freedom from active addiction to the addict who still suffers.
Hey Carolyn! You are not alone is this area. Many are not comfortable in sharing ,public speaking etc.I always revert back to a great writing in the Just For Today,believe it was like feb 16th or something ,but it is called ;SOMETHING VALUABLE TO SHARE" A SIMPLE HONEST MESSAGE OF RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION ALWAYS RINGS TRUE.,In brief says your sitting in a room,1st speaker,totally spiritual,2nd speaker up,tremendously humorous,3rd speaker up totally literatur e oriented and thorough,the whole time your sitting in your seat ,missing the message paralyzed that you'll be called on to share,and you are called up.You stumble thru a few sentences,walk back to your seat and feeling depressed wondering why you cant be more spiritual/humorous or knowledgable about literature BUT we realize that sharing is not a competitve sport and a simple honest message of your ESH will ring true. Is it easy ,especially in large audiences,?no, just because we got clean didnt give us great ORATOR qualities,or spiritual awarenesses like DEEPAK CHOPRA or stand up comedic talent like RED FOX ,ETC...but we do have our own individual stories and when we realize we are hear to carry NA's message of hope and recovery it can make it a little less trying.Sharing from the heart reaches the heart.Our disease will tell us we dont have anything to share or its just not that important or some else just talked about that etc..For now,hopefully you have a sponsor or at least can find another recovering addict to talk with until you become a little more at ease..Ask God in ,hopefully you will share more of God and less of you as time goes by.Let people know how you feel as soon as you begin and find the freedom .Its not easy for many of us and others are naturals..Dont let it deter you from showing up !!! more will be revealed....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I Havent been made speaker of the house either damnit
I put my feeling aside and share, lately i wait to be called on and try to listen more then talk but last night walked into a meeting late and immediately got called on, yeah little uncomfortable but i'll be damned I had a lot to share LOL.
I share my experinece for others and i get something back for that, i get to share the excitement i have for the program and how its working in my life and i want others to have what i have because its wonderful and we're supposed to let the new comer know this thing is DOABLE, and i'm the biggest loser in the room and i'm doing IT, praise God
So put them feeling aside, get used to that and thing will go a lot better, we become selfless, inhibitions drop along with all our fears and anxiety and we find peace in places we had discomfort before.
What I have learned is you can't save you ass and your face at the same time..I chose to save my ass..and sometimes it's not about always sharing it's about suit up and show up..and sometimes shut up..If you are not using..and in the rooms. and truly seeking to find a new way of life..then you are on track..people bring there kids all the time..I have no kids..and sometimes kids r kids ..what I noticed the ones with kids that show up..not only is the parent finding a new way of life..but kids see that and trust that and they find their way with the other children..I believe in no more excuses to stay clean..NO MATTER WHAT..
Just showing up and listening is important. Share your experience simply and plainly. No need impress the audience. People will accept you for who you are.
-- Edited by Dave R on Friday 3rd of June 2011 05:29:37 AM
I know I'm a little late to this thread but I just want to express to you how totally ok it is NOT to share at a meeting. So many people who go to meetings and share at each one seem to be limiting what they are getting. You can hear it sometimes,,,, they are little rehearsed speeches. Y'now, someone wants to sound clever or funny or makes a comment in response to something that was shared a half hour earlier. You just know they have been sitting there rehearsing what they are going to say, instead of listening and hearing a message of recovery that may be just what they need. So, i would suggest you tell your self that you are going to a meeting but your not going to share. Take that pressure out of the equation and maybe you'll find that you actually get to more meetings. Keep coming back. That's all there is to it.
I heard someone say that when they planned to share, they were so wrapped up in their own thoughts they couldn't hear others share.
No one makes ANY demands on your program. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using. Don't sell your participation short. We are happy you want to do something about your problem and want to help you. If we can let go of our idea of being perfect, if we can accept ourselves as is, recovery will happen.
Hello. I am going to have 8 months clean on June 19th. I am happy about that, of course, but I have had trouble getting to Face to Face Meetings because I have a 5 1/2 year old child. I have only been able to go about 6 times in the last 7 months. The problem that I am having is that everytime I do go, I am super uncomfortable. I love the program and most of the sharing, but if I am not sharing It wont help me, right. I feel like what I have to say is inferior to what everyone else is saying and will sound stupid and not "with the topic"....any suggestions ??
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